


The Things We Try to Forget

by emanatingstorm



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, I’m probably forgetting a character that’ll have a random cameo and then disappear but oh well, Matt Holt has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Matt Holt-centric, No romance only platonic, Post Season 7, Rebel Matt Holt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-06-28 00:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15696339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emanatingstorm/pseuds/emanatingstorm
Summary: Matt Holt may seem perfectly fine, but define "fine." It’s been a good few years since he was last on Earth. In those passing years, he’s been kidnapped by aliens, promptly been rescued, joined an intergalactic war, been taught to fight and defend himself, and lost people in the process. How "fine" could he actually be?A post-season-7 fan fiction dedicated to a more serious version of Matt Holt. Don’t get me wrong, I love the whole goofy, loving older brother who lets nothing bother him, but I beg to differ. Would anyone really be perfectly "fine" after going through what he likely went through? Some people’s psyches aren’t as "normal" as you’d like to think, and I’d like to explore that side of Matt.Because this began before the release of season 8, there will be no regards to the plot of the final season as this all will have taken place before it and have verged from the canon storyline.





	1. Catching Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fan fiction I’ve ever written, so please bear with me while I learn the technicalities of tags, ratings, and whatnot.  
>  
> 
> I’ll be portraying a darker side of Voltron. They’ve been fighting in an intergalactic war in space for over three years now, and I’m sure that everyone would be affected in their own way. There are always consequences of war. I’ve decided to try and bring them into the light.
> 
> The glimpse of Matt’s possible S.O. in the end scenes of the finale of Season 7 will be disregarded in this fan fiction, as I do not plan to explore any romantic relationships in this story beyond confirmed canon relationships. The time skip at the very end of the finale where they’ve spent months recovering pieces of the robot and have discovered an Altean power source will also be disregarded as the whole of this story is to be considered as having happened before then.
> 
> There will be Original Characters, but most will be minor. The only significant Original Characters that will appear in this fan fiction will be characters who are an important part of the plot; for example, the unknown Unilu with a scar over their eye shown in Matt’s squadron will gain a name, as will the bully who called Pidge a nerd, and so on.
> 
> Some of this may seem OOC. I am trying to portray a more serious, more consequences-of-war-like version of post-season-7, so consider this a warning if you’re wondering why there’s rarely, if not any, comedic relief.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt isn’t as fine as everyone thinks he is, and the consequences of war have finally caught up.

Earth was saved. For now. With Sendak’s demise and the destruction of the Komar-like robot, Earth was at peace. For now. The Atlas made way for Allura to create wormholes and allow allies from across the star systems to gather on Earth, including refugees. The ruined cities made good triages and shelters for people and aliens alike. Well, people. Matt no longer called his non-Earthling brethren “aliens” unlike the humans on Earth. Those “aliens” were people too. They just weren’t like him.

Matt had been away for a long time, and when he’d finally stepped foot on Earth again, he had been immediately embraced by his mother. He’d never once forgotten her warm hugs. He’d visited Pidge in the hospital right afterwards, and as soon as she and the other Paladins were able-bodied again, they had jumped right into their lions and began working to repair the cities and make way for shelters and triages.

Knowing his sister wouldn’t sit idly by, Matt had gotten to work as well. While his father worked with the Olkari to repair the Atlas, the MFE fighters, and the Garrison’s defenses, he’d gotten to work with his squadron on the Coalition’s repairs.

Matt had changed a lot. So had the Paladins. After all, they were gone for three years. Matt would never forget the void he’d felt. He had wondered if that was what Pidge had felt when his “death” had been announced to the world. Matt had caught up with Pidge in the hospital before she was cleared to help clean up the city.

”And Shiro had been a clone all along. It must have happened right after our big battle with Zarkon. When he’d disappeared, we hadn’t realized that he had died.”

”Wait, Shiro  _died?_ ” Matt asked, shocked at the news. He had died? As in,  _died died?_

”Yeah,” Pidge replied nonchalantly. “But it’s okay. Keith fought and beat his clone body so we used it and what Allura learned on Oriande to transfer Shiro’s consciousness from the astral plane in Voltron to the clone body. The clone body was rejecting him at first, but Keith brought him back and then it worked out in the end.”

Matt could only blink. That was definitely a mouthful, but he nodded and said a lot of “gotcha’s” and “okay’s” and “alright’s.”

 

It was a week now after the Paladins had mostly healed. Everyone had been working separately to help refugees and strengthen or repair Earth’s defenses. Under Shiro’s orders, everyone had gathered in one of the Galaxy Garrison’s conference rooms. Pidge, Hunk, Lance, and Keith had gathered together. Griffin also showed up with Leifsdottir, Kinkade, Rizavi, and Veronica. Matt arrived last, as he’d been down in the opposite end of the city caring for Olkari refugees. For some reason, Allura, Coran, and Romelle weren’t present. They would later learn that Shiro had asked if they were interested in the contents of the meeting, to which they had politely declined after learning what it was about.

That was when Commander Iverson came out with Shiro. “Attention, Cadets,” he said with his usual booming voice. “Since you’ve all mostly recovered from your injuries, Captain Shirogane and I have been speaking. You all went through hardships, and some of those hardships may affect you. We just want you all to know that we have someone here to speak with you.”

Behind Iverson was an older woman with short, brown hair tied into a small ponytail. She had the usual officer’s uniform on. “Hello everyone,” she greeted. “I know what you’re all thinking, and I want to start by reassuring you that I am not a therapist. I’m a psychology professor with a PhD in the subject. But more importantly, I’m going to be your confidant.”

Griffin was the first to laugh. “A confidant? An absolute stranger, you mean? No thanks. I’ll admit, some of those Galra battleships were scary, but I don’t have nightmares at night and I don’t need to talk about my feelings in a therapy session with a professor I’ve never had.”

Keith surprisingly seconded that notion. “Shiro, this is a joke,” he said bitterly.

Shiro gave an empathetic look. “I understand that a lot of you aren’t going to be open to this, but Commander Iverson is just looking out for you. He just wants you to know that Dr. Guglielmo is here for you if you need her.”

Everyone seemed to nod half heartedly before they were dismissed. The Paladins and Matt strayed behind.

”What do we need a therapist for?” Keith asked. “We’ve been fighting in robotic lions and dealing with witches while we took on a militaristic race bent on total universal domination. If we needed a therapist, we would know by now.”

Lance agreed. “Keith is right. I don’t need some lady to explain my feelings to her.”

Hunk was more persuaded than the others. “I don’t know, man. She’s just trying to help. Look, I was really torn when I learned that my family was being held in one of the Galra work camps. But I had people to talk to. A stranger may be weird at first, but she  _does_ have a PhD in psychology. And she’s a professor, not a therapist. That’s got to amount to something.”

Pidge was totally against it like Keith and Lance. Not a surprise there. “Keith is right. I don’t need someone to babysit my emotions for me, regardless of whether or not they’re a therapist or a teacher. Besides, I’ve got my family to talk to. And you guys have yours. Right, Matt? Matt?”

Matt had drifted out of the conversation and was staring at the professor. She was talking to Shiro.

“Matt?”

“Sorry?” He asked. “I kinda drifted.”

”Don’t you think that talking to our families is better than talking to some stranger?” Pidge reiterated.

”Mhm, definitely,” he agreed.

That was when Shiro and Dr. Guglielmo came over.

”Hey guys, I know you’re really not that on board about talking to Dr. G.,” he began.

Keith scoffed at the notion. “Not on board is putting it lightly.”

”But she has a really great idea,” Shiro continued, ignoring Keith’s comment. “What if we all had a big gathering? We could hold it just outside the Garrison so it would be like a real camping trip, but within the perimeter of the particle barrier. We could all have our families and friends get together, and then later, we could sleep in the open under the stars. It’d be peaceful. We haven’t had a peaceful night in a long time.”

Hunk, for one, was excited. “That sounds great!” He exclaimed. “I’ll bring all of the snacks. My family and I can cook up dinner. Uncle Filo is a mean cook.”

Lance began to perk up at the idea too. “I think my cousins would like that a lot too,” he said cheerfully.

Keith shrugged. “Sure then. Why not? Krolia and Kolivan can come. I’ll bring Kosmo too. He’ll probably be fine around Bae Bae, won’t he?” Keith looked at Pidge.

Pidge grinned, hopping aboard the planning committee. “Bae Bae will be fine. Dad could bring Mom and we could all hang out together,” she said excitedly. “Hey Matt, maybe you want to invite some of the rebels?”

Matt crossed his arms. “Yeah, sure, but why a sleepover? We all have things to do afterwards.”

Shiro frowned. “Matt, I’ve barely seen you since the fight against the giant robot, and whenever I have seen you, you’ve been working to set up the shelters and triages in the city. You and the other rebels deserve a break. And a good night’s sleep for once. I heard that you haven’t slept at home yet.”

Pidge frowned upon this as well. It was true. Matt hadn’t slept in his own bed since before he’d gone on the Kerberos mission. Even when he’d stepped onto Earth for the first time in over three years, he slept in tents with his squadron in the city near the shelters and triages. Mom was worried, but Dad had reassured her that he was all work and no play. So long as he visited, it was okay. Dad assumed that Matt just really cared about the rebels and refugees. “It’s just a sleepover, Matt. It’ll be like the old days where I’d come into your room and we’d have sleepovers there.“

Matt narrowed his eyebrows. “It’s not the old days anymore, Pidge,” he said rather curtly before realizing his mistake. Everyone was looking at him now, shocked at this sudden passive aggressiveness. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I’ve just—it’s been tiring working on the shelters and triages, and I’m used to sleeping with my team. The idea sounds like fun. I’ll have Olia come over with her kids and some of the others.”

”Sounds like a plan then!” Everyone jumped at the sound of hands clapping together. They’d forgotten about Dr. Guglielmo and hadn’t even realized that she’d been eavesdropping on their plan the entire time. “You can all conduct this tonight! It will be like the ultimate family bonding exercise.”

 

It wasn't long before a big setup had been laid out just outside of the Garrison’s walls. They were still within the range of the particle barrier, but with the Galra having retreated, there was no immediate need for it to be activated.

Lance’s family arrived first. Then Hunk’s. Then Pidge’s. Keith showed up with Krolia, Kolivan, and Kosmo. Shiro came after debriefing with the Olkari on the Atlas repairs. Matt was the last to arrive with Olia and her two children, Lieutenant Ozar, Ryner, and the familiar Unilu with the scar over his eye. Allura, Coran, and Romelle had been invited, but they were busy speaking with Coalition members and updating those still in the outer star systems and had decided to remain aboard the Atlas.

The Unilu immediately came up to Pidge, shaking her hand vigorously. “The name’s Krogell,” he said with a cheeky grin. “Haven’t been formally introduced yet.”

Matt smiled with his arms folded casually over his chest. He was still in his rebel outfit, as were Krogell, Lieutenant Ozar, and Olia. Only her children sported citizen-like clothing. Ryner wore her Olkari garb.

Olia smiled as she began greeting the others. Sam brought Colleen over, and she shook the fellow mother’s hand. “It’s a pleasure,” she said. “My name is Olia. I’ve had the honor of being your son’s Captain through all of this. You’re a lucky mother.”

”As are you,” Colleen replied, smiling at the two pups that stood in front of her, holding onto Olia’s hand.

After introductions were made, it wasn’t long before Hunk’s family broke out the food. Everyone sat down on blankets and chowed down, enjoying the home cooked meal and each other’s company.

”This Earth food is quite different from rebel sustenance,” Ozar noted, poking the hamburger on his plate. “And certainly different in taste!” He exclaimed after taking a bite.

”The technology you Earthlings have is magnificent,” Ryner added, speaking to Sam from across the blanket. “It’s vastly different from what Olkarion has to offer.”

”And we were cornered, ten to one!” Krogell was busy telling an old battle story. “Sentries on all sides, when this crazy lug jumps in with his metal staff all gung ho about kicking Galra butt. Can you believe it?” Krogell asked, laughing hysterically as he recalled one of Matt’s first missions with the rebels after he’d been rescued and trained for a few months. “The poor kid had barely learned how to hold the thing, let alone twirl it the way he can now. Then he started swinging this thing like some crazy person! He hit Ozar in the face back when the big guy had been a part of our squadron!”

Matt snorted, seemingly much more uplifting than he had been with the psychology professor around. “Okay, okay, I may not have been able to wield my staff very well then, but I could spar with you now and win easily,” he taunted.

”Oh sure, sure,” Krogell shot back. “But Te-osh would kick your can up and down the sparring room stairs all the time.”

“Krogell,” Olia scolded suddenly.

Silence. The pain was clearly written on Matt’s face as he froze. Everyone felt the eerie awkwardness that lingered through the air. Matt had learned of Te-osh’s death six months after Voltron had vanished after their fight with Lotor. At first, Matt had been furious and hurt. How could Pidge not tell him this? How could Ozar and Olia keep this from him for all this time? But time gave way to forgiveness and acceptance. Pidge hadn’t known of his connection to Te-osh. She hadn’t known Matt’s relationship with Te-osh. And it was that exact relationship which kept Ozar and Olia from telling him the truth. It merely showed that they cared.

“Uh, sorry, Matt,” the Unilu responded, rubbing the back of his head. Though he was a good person, Krogell would often get in over his head at times.

”It’s fine,” Matt said with a grimace. Te-osh was still a hard subject, even now. But she deserved to be remembered in great stories, not sulking. “You’re right,” he said, lifting the sudden awkwardness. “She would always beat me no matter how hard I trained. She was the greatest mentor I could ever have, and she was one of the rebel forces’ best fighters.”

”Now Matt is too,” Krogell added. “He’s saved my butt plenty of times.”

”We should have a sparring session sometime,” Pidge said with a mischievous grin, elbowing her brother. “See if you could beat me with that new ponytail of yours.”

”I’ll take you on any time,” Matt shot back with an equally mischievous smile. “See if _you_ can beat _me_ with your copied hairstyle.”

 

It was later that night, and everyone had begun to settle down. The plan had turned out to be that only a handful of people would sleep over. Hunk and Lance’s families went back to their homes respectively; Sam and Colleen had decided to head home as well; Kolivan and Krolia went back to the Blades; Ryner headed back to her people to work on more repairs; and Olia had Ozar take her children back to her sister-in-law in the city. Only the Paladins, Shiro, Matt, Olia, and Krogell were left.

Everyone had set up either a sleeping bag or a blanket and a pillow and were sleeping outside, their backs to the ground as they stared up at the sky. It was so warm out that there was no need for a tent.

”Y’know, I missed the Earth constellations,” Hunk spoke up. “And the moon.”

Lance sighed in agreement. “And the sunsets. Can’t forget those.”

Keith shrugged. “I missed the fresh air.”

Shiro hummed to himself. “I missed piloting.”

Pidge smiled. “I missed my books and computer.”

Everyone turned to Matt.

”What did you miss, Matt?” Pidge asked curiously.

”Everything,” he replied simply.

Everyone chatted until it was time to start heading off to bed. Pidge was already starting to nod off.

Matt got up to grab a drink of water from the cooler the McClaine’s had left for them. When he stood back up after fishing for a water bottle—that was one of the “everything’s” he’d missed—he turned around to face Olia.

”Matt, are you going to be okay tonight?” She asked him worriedly. “You know exactly why you haven’t been able to sleep—“

”I’ll be fine,” he shot back quickly. “I‘ll just sleep farther away.”

Olia knew the consequences, and she was prepared. But mentally, she didn’t believe that he was ready. “You know why you’ve slept with us since landing here,” she warned him.

”I know,” Matt responded exasperatedly, repeating himself. “I’ll be okay. I think it’s been getting better, you know? With being back on Earth, having Pidge back, having my parents back. It’ll be alright. It’s just one night.”

Olia put her hand on Matt’s shoulder. “I may be your friend,” she told him, “but I am also your leader. And as your leader, I advise you to tell them. You can’t keep running away from it, Matt. You need to face it head on—“

”Running away is how you kept _your_ family safe,” Matt said aggressively, abruptly pushing Olia’s hand off of his shoulder. “Running away is how I’ll keep _my_ family safe.” With that, he took the water bottle that was clenched in his other hand and headed back to his blanket and pillow.

Matt slept further away from the group that night. When questioned about it, he’d made up the excuse that he was claustrophobic from having to constantly hide in space and sleep in tight groups. He laid on his back, counting the stars and naming the constellations in his head until he finally succumbed to sleep.

 

_When Matt opened his eyes, all he saw was purple. He blinked twice, but his vision remained foggy. He thought he could see shapes, but they were moving. Could shapes move? He heard mumbling and strained to hear better, but it seemed as though his hearing was failing him as well. Everything was muffled like a bomb had gone off next to his head. It wasn’t until he felt a searing pain lance up his entire body that his senses switched back to normal. Spasming, he squeezed his eyes shut and screamed. Of course he would be able to hear his own screams normally. When he opened his eyes after the pain finally subsided, he saw where he was: a Galran battle cruiser._

_Panting, Matt searched frantically for a way out. His hands and feet had been held down by those glowing restraints, and his back was to one of the all too familiar Galran panels used during interrogations. When he looked down at himself, he saw that he was back to being dressed in a prisoner’s uniform. Panicking, he began to struggle at his restraints, pulling as hard as he could until his wrists hurt. “Hey!” He cried out, seeing a few Druids walk in. “I-I don’t have anything useful for you!” He told them frantically. “I don’t have any information that’s worth anything!”_

_That was when the witch entered the scene. She came up behind two Druids and cackled in that bone chilling laugh of hers. “We don’t need information anymore,” she said cryptically. Raising her hands, her fingertips began to glow and crackle, causing Matt to clench his teeth together tightly, his eyes filled with fear. “You’re far more useful for experimentation,” the witch noted._

_“Wait. W-wait, stop. Please, stop!” Feeling hot tears fall down his face, Matt began screaming for help before he felt another surge of energy lance down his spine and spasmed wildly._

 

Pidge groaned and woke up, seeing darkness before her eyes adjusted. The moon was setting, but the sun had yet to peak above the horizon, so it must be a little before dawn. Everyone had chatted about the things they’d missed until they slowly began to fall asleep. Apparently, Pidge had been the first to fall asleep, despite her usual night owl routine. Feeling thirsty, she got up from her blanket and headed over to the cooler to grab a water bottle before stopping. She heard movement and looked over, seeing Matt in the distance. Even though he was farther away from everyone else, she could see that he was lying on his side, shaking. Curiosity got the better of her, and Pidge crept over to her brother. He was definitely asleep, but he was restless. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his arms were pressed tightly together against his chest. He was practically shivering even though it was hot and humid, and he kept mumbling something under his breath. Was he okay? Pidge knelt down behind him, wondering whether or not to wake him up before she saw something that really concerned her. Matt was clutching a dagger in both hands, and it wasn’t by the handle. Both of his palms were sticky with blood as he subconsciously gripped the blade with his hands. She needed to wake him up.

“Matt!” Pidge said in a hoarse whisper. “Matt, wake up! You’re having a nightmare!” She began to shake her brother to try and bring him back from his deep slumber. Wrong move.

Matt’s eyes shot open as he screamed, _“I said stop!”_ Immediately, he spun around with the dagger and shoved Pidge to the ground, on his knees within seconds as he plunged the knife into her left shoulder.

Everyone woke up to an agonizing scream.

Shiro was the first to wake up and turn over to see Matt trying to send a knife through Pidge’s throat. His sister was failing to hold him back with one good arm. “Matt, stop!” He shouted, on his feet in an instant. He took one step forward before he saw a blur fly past him and shove him to the ground in the process.

Olia had pushed Shiro aside and ran up to the Holt siblings, grabbing Matt’s hands and disarming the knife from his bloody grasp in a flash. “Matthew, close your eyes!” She commanded. Matt struggled in her grip, thrashing violently as he continued to scream. “Close your eyes!” She said again, holding his arms down and wrapping her body against his in an almost motherly sort of way.

Matt’s vision was blurry, but he could see distorted shapes surrounding him. They looked like Druids. They had their hands up, prepared to electrocute him some more. One of them even held a long, black blade. He felt strong arms encase his body and hold his arms down. The Druid holding him kept shouting at him, telling him to close his eyes.

”Close your eyes, Matthew!” Olia shouted. Matt continued to struggle. “Close them! _Now!”_

Terrified, Matt obeyed the Druid’s orders.

”Let everything fade away,” the Druid told him.

He did. Everything faded into darkness, and when he opened his eyes again, Shiro and Krogell were staring at him. Olia had her arms wrapped around him. He blinked once, his irregular breathing slowly reverting back to calm, collected breaths as he tried to get a sense of what had happened. He swallowed, feeling his own tears falling down his face as he calmed down. When he was calm, Olia released him. He put his hand to his forehead before pulling it away abruptly, feeling something hot and sticky on his skin.

”Are you crazy?!”

Matt heard Keith’s voice and turned around to see the young man’s furious gaze glowering down at him. Keith’s bayard was formed and at the ready.

“What was _that_ all about?”

Matt turned slowly to see Hunk holding Pidge as Lance held his jacket to Pidge’s shoulder. The jacket was slowly turning a bright red. As soon as he looked at Pidge, he saw a look that wasn’t just in pain; it was petrified.

”Matt.”

Matt turned to the voice, seeing that it was Olia.

“Matt, you spiraled again,” she told him gently, reaching out.

He pulled away from her, getting to his feet rapidly before looking down at his hands. They were bloody, the red liquid soaking into his gloves. When he saw the blood-coated dagger in Olia’s hands, he began hyperventilating as he put two and two together.

”Steady, Matt,” Olia said, trying to calm him down again. “Calm down. Ease your breaths.”

Matt couldn’t as he continued to heave in heavy, irregular breaths as though he couldn’t breathe, the world spinning around him before he turned and booked it from the group.

”Matt! Matt, stop!” Olia called out. “Krogell, go get him,” she told the Unilu.

Krogell looked conflicted. “Every time he’s spiraled, he’s just needed space. Maybe we should give it to him,” he suggested before Olia cut him off curtly.

”He just spiraled and attacked his sister, and he could spiral again if he isn’t kept in reality,” Olia said sharply. “You need to go follow him and make sure he doesn’t lose himself.”

The Unilu realized the gravity of the situation and nodded, turning to chase after Matt.

Shiro and Keith had gone over to Pidge, Hunk, and Lance, directing them on how to stop the bleeding.

”We need to get her to the hospital,” Hunk said. “Now.”

”I’ll help,” Keith said.

Hunk nodded and gently lifted Pidge in his arms, hesitating slightly at her grunts and small cries.

”The sooner the better,” Keith reassured Hunk.

”Lance, let Sam and Colleen know what happened,” Shiro told him. “Keith, take Pidge to the hospital with Hunk. Drop Lance off at the Holts. Their house is on the way to the hospital.” Once the three had hopped onto Keith’s hover bike and sped off, Shiro turned to Olia.

”Olia, I need answers. What _was_ that all about?”

Olia sighed. “I’ll explain everything once Matt’s parents settle down after hearing the news. Right now, I need to find him.”

Shiro wasn’t happy with her answer, but it would satisfy him for now. “Alright. Do you know where the hospital is? Nyma should have shown you the way when you touched down on Earth.”

Olia nodded. “I’ll meet you there after I find Matt and make sure he’s okay.”

After Olia ran off to find Matt and Krogell, Shiro headed in the direction of the hospital. He had personally had panic attacks when faced with Sendak all that time ago. Was Matt having nightmares like that? But why were they so much more severe than his panic attacks? Shiro had launched Sendak’s cryo-frozen body into space, but hallucinating and trying to kill someone in the process was—well, it actually was similar in a way. Sendak could have easily frozen and wasted away in space. When Shiro—the real Shiro—had confronted Matt after he’d learned about the whole clone issue, it had been a heartfelt reunion. Matt was more than happy to know that he was in fact alive and well, and he’d seemed fine. But Shiro should have known better. After all, he was the master of acting like he was fine when he knew deep down that he wasn’t.

 

”Matt!” Krogell called out. He’d followed Matt all the way outside of the range of the particle barrier and was heading towards some rocky outcrops. Although he’d lost sight of him, the drops of blood from Matt’s hands left a clear enough trail. “Matt! It’s Krogell! Are you okay!?” He called out. He didn’t need to keep calling his name as Matt came out of hiding from behind an outcrop.

_”Okay!?_ I just tried to put a knife in my sister’s throat, and you’re asking if I’m okay?!”

Matt’s teary-eyed, panic-ridden face was enough to make Krogell realize how insensitive that last question was.

Matt glared at the Unilu, blood dripping from where his hands were still bleeding and coated in his and Pidge’s blood. “You didn’t see her face, Krogell. You didn’t see the look in her eyes. But _I_ did. Do you know what I saw?”

Krogell decided to humor Matt’s question. “What did you see?” He asked gently.

”I saw _pure fear.”_ Matt clenched his fists together, ignoring the fiery sting that lanced up his wrists. “She-she was _terrified.”_ Matt stopped ranting and sank to his knees, sobs wracking his body as he stared at the cracked ground, his arms wrapped tightly around his body. “I would’ve killed her,” he said tearfully. “Pidge would’ve died if Olia hadn’t stopped me.”

Krogell approached Matt carefully, knowing that now was the right time to embrace him. He gently placed his two upper arms on Matt’s shoulders. “Your sister is one of the strongest people I’ve ever met—besides you. She’ll understand,” he told him. “Come on. Let’s get you back to Olia. We need to clean up your hands.”

It took a few minutes for Matt to calm down before he could stand. Afterwards, he headed back to the Garrison with Krogell alongside him.

 

Shiro, Lance, Keith, Hunk, Sam, and Colleen all stood around Pidge’s bed. Allura and Coran had been alerted as to what happened and had arrived as well. They left Romelle to work with Ozar at a refugee center in the city.

”Can someone tell me what exactly happened? The details were not quite given in full,” Allura said with a concerned look on her face.

”Matt went berserk and tried to kill Pidge,” Hunk said blatantly.

”But that doesn’t sound like Matt at all,” Coran noted.

”It doesn’t.”

Everyone looked down to see Pidge opening her eyes.

”How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Colleen asked.

”Sore,” Pidge replied with a groan.

”The hospital put you on painkillers, so the worst you should be feeling is a light sting,” Sam told her.

”Pidge, what _did_ happen?” Keith asked.

Everyone shot him a _give-the-poor-kid-a-break!_ look.

”What!?” Keith threw his hands up in the air. “We’re all wondering!”

Pidge sighed. “I think Matt was having a nightmare. I woke up to get a drink when I saw him shaking and mumbling under his breath. That dagger he had? He was gripping the blade with his hands and cutting his palms, so I tried to wake him up. That’s when he freaked out. I think-I think he was still asleep, even though he woke up. Like he was still having that nightmare even though his body had woken up physically.”

”It happens more often than you realize.” Olia entered the room, looking tired and disheveled.

”Where’s Matt?” Lance asked suspiciously.

”He’s in the room next to us,” the Captain responded. “Krogell is treating his hands.”

”Why not have a nurse do it?” Shiro asked. “They have the supplies, and they could give him light painkillers if he needs them.”

Olia turned towards Shiro. “We’ve been in space for deca-phoebs,” she said, suddenly aggressive. “We were forced to learn in-field medical treatment with whatever we could get our hands on. We never had the medical supplies you did, and being up in space for all that time got Matt believing that he deserved the same treatment the rebels got: whatever we could salvage with basic field medic training.” When she saw Shiro’s shocked reaction, she put a hand to her forehead and sighed. “I’m-I’m sorry. I apologize for my outburst. Please, I’ll explain everything to Pidge, her parents, and Shiro, but the rest of you need to leave the room.”

”But why?” Hunk asked. “We’re Pidge’s family too.”

Olia gave a sympathetic look. “I know you care. You all do.” She looked around the room at everyone’s concerned expressions. “But what I’m going to tell them is private. Matt wanted this to be private for as long as he could manage, but his immediate family deserves to know. So for now, this only concerns Pidge, her parents, and Shiro.”

Hunk sighed before beckoning the others out of the room. “Come on guys.”

Allura, Coran, Lance, and Keith quickly followed.

As Keith left the room and walked down the hall, he saw Matt in the next room over sitting up on the side of the hospital bed with his hands held out facing upwards. Blood-soaked gloves were set on the bed next to him as well as a wet, red-stained gray rag. The Unilu was wrapping his hands up. His left hand was nearly finished, but his right hand still revealed the deep, red cut on his palm. When Keith caught Matt’s gaze, Matt looked down immediately, but not before Keith noticed his red, puffy, tear-filled eyes.

”Keith, let’s go debrief at the Atlas.”

”I’m coming.”

 

“What happened?”

”He spiraled.”

Everyone in the room was confused at the wording.

”Spiraled?” Colleen asked. “What does that mean?”

”Do you mean the nightmare?” Sam asked. “Is this why he hasn’t slept in his own bed yet? Because he didn’t want us to know that he had nightmares?”

”Spiraling is a universal term in the star systems I’m from,” Olia explained. “Sometimes, in war or from a traumatic experience, people develop a mind disorder that we call “spiraling.” It’s where they become hypersensitive to certain things. Something they hear; something they see; something they smell. It could be nearly anything. And depending on every person, they react to it in different ways. But always in a negative way.”

”That sounds a lot like Post Traumatic Stress,” Shiro said, speaking up.

”Post Traumatic Stress?” Pidge said. “That hasn’t been a common occurrence since World War III. But, I guess anyone could get it. Especially since we’ve all just fought for our freedom and our lives in an intergalactic war. Some for over ten thousand years.”

”Is this Post Traumatic Stress like spiraling?” Olia asked, wanting to clarify.

”Yes, your description makes it likely,” Shiro answered. “It’s common in war, but with what Matt likely went through, I’m not surprised he has it. Why didn’t he tell anyone?”

Olia sighed. “He’s had it since we—since Te-osh first rescued him from the Galra labor camp. He’s had lighter episodes and heavier episodes. When it’s light, he usually has nightmares that he can’t wake himself out of until he screams himself awake. But you witnessed a heavier one. It happens when he’s trapped in a nightmare and wakes up physically, but not mentally. Or when he sees something that triggers hallucinations.”

Pidge frowned. “You’re right. He still believed he was being attacked, or something. He kept telling me to stop.”

Olia nodded. “If it’s light enough, I can bring him back to reality. Like this morning.”

”And if he’s too submersed in his own head?” Sam asked worriedly.

Olia remained silent for a moment before hesitantly answering. “..We have to fight him. And then sedate him.”

”Fight?” Colleen asked with a terrified expression. “Why do you have to fight him?”

”In his eyes..we’re the bad guys,” Shiro responded. “He’s just doing whatever he can to get away.”

Olia nodded. “When he’s too submersed in his own head, all he sees is his nightmare or hallucination. We’re his enemies. Usually, the setting of his hallucinations take place in a Galra cruiser surrounded by Druids.”

”Usually?” Sam asked. “How frequently does this happen?”

”He had a lot of nightmares and didn’t sleep very well when we’d first rescued him. He’d adjusted so much to that lack of sleep that he would rely heavily on sporadic naps to maintain enough energy to function throughout the day.” Olia thought back to when he’d had his first episode after being rescued. “Matt had frequent spirals after being rescued. He wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep. I wasn’t nearly as good at bringing him back as I am now. Krogell can do it now too, but we each have a different connection to him. Matt sees me as his leader. He sees Krogell as a brother. But he saw Te-osh as more than a mentor. He saw her as a mother figure. She was the only one who could bring him out of any spiral no matter how heavy it was.”

Colleen put one hand to her heart and the other to her mouth.

”He missed you,” Olia said, giving Colleen a sympathetic look. “He missed all of you. He came to see us as his second family. And he’s been with us for so long now that he feels alienated to _you.”_

”What happened the first time he spiraled?” Pidge asked, speaking up. “The very first time after you rescued him from the labor camp?”

”The same thing that happened to you,” Olia responded. “He was having a nightmare, and we hadn’t yet learned that if he was having one, you have to let him wake himself up. Krogell tried to wake him up, and Matt had that same dagger he has now. Krogell has a scar over his right eye. How do you think he got that?”

”He didn’t..?” Shiro trailed off, already putting two and two together.

”Matt woke up and attacked Krogell thinking he was a Druid,” Olia explained. “He and Krogell are fine now. Krogell understands why it happened, and he doesn’t blame Matt. But that’s what happens if we’re not careful. This is why Matt hasn’t slept in his own bed yet. He didn’t want you to know, but he didn’t want to hurt you either. He knew that if he had a nightmare and you woke him up without me or Krogell around to snap him out of it, someone would get hurt.” Olia looked over at Pidge. “Like now.”

Pidge stared down at her arm in the sling. “Why didn’t he want us to know?” She asked. “He’s been suffering for this long, but he never told me anything. He didn’t talk about why he had a fake grave, or what he went through during his imprisonment. He was just his usual self. I never caught on.”

Shiro placed his good arm on Pidge’s right shoulder. “He didn’t want you to worry. And he didn’t want to stir up memories he was trying to forget. I understand what that’s like.”

”So has he always been like this?” Sam asked. “He doesn’t seem fazed by Galra troops or cruisers or fighters. Is it just the Druids? What happened to him? Does he only have nightmares? Does anything trigger him when he’s physically and mentally awake?”

Olia shook her head. “His spiraling came and went. It was bad when we first rescued him, but it seemed like Te-osh was able to help him little by little. He would usually have nightmares, but anything Galra related used to be a trigger. But the more he trained and got used to his lifestyle with us, the better he got. And it became the best it’d ever been once Pidge found Matt at that outpost. Only Druids triggered him physically at that point, and he would have a nightmare maybe once a month before he’d reunited with you,” Olia said, looking at Pidge. “And after you rescued your father, he didn't spiral. He didn’t have nightmares anymore. The last one he’d had was before you found him.”

Olia trailed off for a short moment before continuing. “But when Voltron disappeared after your fight with Lotor, Matt began to spiral again. I-I think he was losing hope. He’d clung to it for a long time, and when he’d reunited with you and your father, it was like that hope eradicated his spiraling. But when a few days became a week, and a week became a month, he got worse again. He started having nightmares again, and they got more frequent. Just the mentioning of Druids or the witch, Haggar, would trigger him.” Olia looked to Sam. “I think we finally did it when Lieutenant Ozar stopped by six months after Voltron had disappeared. Matt had just contacted you and Colleen. He still hadn’t known the truth about Te-osh.”

Pidge’s eyes widened. She’d been the last person Te-osh saw before she died. She’d called her “Matt.”

”Who is Te-osh?” Colleen asked. “You keep mentioning her. You said she was a mother figure to Matt?”

Olia nodded. “She was.” Turning to Pidge, the Captain continued. “I told you that Te-osh wasn’t just Matt’s mentor, she was a mother figure. And when he finally learned the truth from Ozar, I think he lost hope. We knew how much she meant to Matt, but Ozar was unaware that he didn’t know, and had let the information slip. We were being hunted, and we’d heard of the decimated numbers of the Blade of Marmora thanks to Haggar’s Druids. Our numbers were thin now, and people were dying. Entire families were killed just for being associated with the Voltron Coalition or with the Blades. I-I think he just lost hope.”

Olia sighed. “Matt grew reckless. He began taking unnecessary risks he would never take, and he just seemed to stop caring about his own safety. A..a year ago, two years after Voltron had disappeared, Ryner, Matt, and I were on Olkarion. We were treating any remaining members of the Coalition that had managed to get to the planet undetected when a Galra fleet attacked. Ryner and I were evacuating refugees and Coalition members when we were swarmed by sentries and taken captive. We would’ve been taken to the cruiser, but Matt jumped in. He attacked the Galra general and distracted the sentries long enough for us to escape. I got Ryner out of there and went back to help when a Druid came out of nowhere.”

When Olia stopped, Shiro gently touched Olia’s shoulder before realizing that she was crying. “Olia, if you need to stop—“

”No!” Olia said through her tears. “You deserve the truth!” She took a shaky breath before continuing. “I would’ve been killed, but Matt pushed me aside and took the brunt of the attack. He had this mindset that my life was more important than his just because he knew that my children were in hiding. He thought Pidge was dead, and that his parents might be dead as well since we received your distress signal. He must have just thought that he wasn’t as important anymore. He didn’t have a drive to live if he believed that there was no use fighting anymore. We had no means of help and our supplies were dwindling. We’d be blasted to smithereens before we could help you. Matt was down, and I had no idea if he was dead or not. The Druids took those that couldn’t escape, including Matt, aboard the cruisers, and then they just left. I wanted to save him, but Krogell had dragged me to safety. It’s all my fault.”

Olia took a shaky breath before continuing, calming herself down so she would stop crying. “The attack on Olkarion was devastating. It took us a month to gather enough supplies to launch a rescue mission. Ryner and I had created a rescue team to save Matt and those that were taken. Nyma’s and my squadron and a group of Olkari tracked down the cruisers containing the Coalition members and refugees they’d taken and eventually freed them all, including Matt. But he wasn’t the same. He was more aggressive, more distant. He wasn’t the same goofy kid who had learned to always have hope. He wasn’t the scared child that Te-osh had raised into a warrior with the heart of a lion anymore. I know what happened to him when he was first held captive all those years ago. Only Te-osh, Krogell, and I do. But he won’t tell me what happened the second time. I think it was a lot worse.”

”It was.”

Everyone turned to see Matt standing in the doorway, his hands wrapped in bandages as he leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed. “Are you done telling them my sitcom of a life in space?” He asked angrily.

Olia had already dried the remaining tears in her eyes and turned to face him. “Matt, they deserved to know. You’re their son. Pidge’s brother. Shiro’s crew member.”

”What gave you the right to tell them?” He asked, clearly upset that they now knew how much he was struggling. How much he was suffering. “You’re not Te-osh.”

Olia’s eyes widened. “You’re right. I’m not Te-osh. But I _am_ your Captain. It is _my_ duty to tell _your family_ what is going on with you. Why you won’t sleep in your own bed. Why you’ll barely talk to them and use refugees as an excuse. Why you _stabbed_ your sister in the shoulder thinking she was a Druid in the middle of the night!”

”Then I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again!” Matt shouted. He took out the dagger that had been cleaned now and threw it and its sheathe to the ground, stabbing the blade through the tile floor as the sheathe bounced with a _thunk!_ Afterwards, he ran out of the door and down the hall.

Olia saw Krogell across the hall through the door frame and glared at him. “Why did you give him that!?” She asked furiously, reaching down and pulling the dagger out of the floor.

Krogell rubbed the back of his head. “It’s his. It’s one of his only connections to Te-osh.” The Unilu paused for a moment. “You know he didn’t want anyone to know,” he told Olia as he tried to change to subject, “so why’d you tell them?”

”They deserve to know what’s wrong with him,” Olia said blatantly. She took the dagger in her hands and put it in its sheathe. “I gave this to him,” she said aloud to no one in particular. “It was Te-osh’s. She had a box of things labeled for Matt. It was like she knew that she would die before him. Matt refused to take the box, so I would take certain things from it when it was a good time and give it to him. Te-osh had given Matt this dagger when he was first rescued as reassurance. He gave it back after he no longer needed it. When he learned of Te-osh’s death, I gave it back to him for that same reassurance.”

Krogell sighed. “Admit it, Olia. He used to be just like him. You see Matt as your brother, don’t you?”

Olia glared at Krogell. Quiznak! Why could he always tell how she felt? Olia had lost her brother and her husband to the war. She didn’t need to be reminded now of all times, even though Matt ironically reminded her of her late brother every day.

Pidge looked at her parents, then at Shiro, and then Olia. “He really didn’t want us to know?”

”He wants to forget,” Krogell spoke up, looking at everyone in the room. “That’s what he told me when I was fixing his hands. He just wants to forget it all, but he can’t. And every time someone new learns about his spiraling, all of the memories are unburied again.” Krogell looked at Olia. “You’re not his mother. You’re his leader. I respect you, I admire you, and I think of you as my family, Olia. But you just don’t know what‘s going on in his head.”

”And you do?” Olia shot back. “I thought he would get better after returning to Earth and seeing you all again,” she said, gripping the handle of the dagger tightly. “I thought he would find that hope he’d held onto for so long again after finally returning home. But I think it’s making things worse. And I don’t know why.”

”Because Earth isn’t his home anymore,” Krogell responded. “Well, relatively speaking.”

Everyone turned their attention to the Unilu.

”Matt sees you as the overprotective parent,” Krogell explained. “You and Te-osh have been like mother figures to him, but he sees me as a brother. Siblings tell each other their problems before they tell their parents. Matt doesn’t see Earth as his home anymore. He hasn’t for a long time. Sure, you’re there. You’re his family. But he doesn’t think he knows you anymore. He’s so proud of you all. Trust me on that. But things are so different from what they once were. I think it’s all messing with his head.” Krogell looked at Shiro. “What he went through after being taken captive again; I think it was even worse than when you both had been taken the first time around. And he won’t even tell _me_ what happened.”

Colleen and Sam had a look of horror on their face, but Shiro and Pidge had a more empathetic look.

“Where did he go?” Pidge asked suddenly, struggling with the IV in her arm.

”What do you think you’re doing, young lady?” Colleen asked.

”I’m going to go comfort my brother,” Pidge shot back. “Shiro, how do I get the IV out?”

Shiro was about to say something before stopping, seeing the death glare he was receiving from Colleen.

”You’re not going anywhere, kiddo,” Sam responded. “You’re going to stay here and heal. We’ll go talk to him.”

”I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Krogell said. He saw the _but-he’s-my-son_ look and waved all four hands, trying to reword himself. “Look, it’s probably really early in the morning. Why don’t you all get a little bit of rest? I’ll go talk to him and get him calm enough to speak with you. He’s still kind of freaked out, and you all trying to bombard him with “you’re going to be okay’s” or “we’re going to help you’s“ is only going to make things worse. Trust me.” With that, Krogell left to go find Matt again.

Olia watched the Unilu leave before turning to Shiro, Pidge, and her parents. “I’m sorry,” was all she said before she left to go find Matt as well.

Pidge looked down at her sling, ignoring her parents’ and Shiro’s discussion of what to do. _I’m going to help you, Matt,_ she thought to herself. _I’m going to be there for you like all the times you’ve been there for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s that! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I have no idea how many chapters this will eventually have, but there will be more to come!
> 
> I got the idea about Te-osh being so mother-like to Matt through the knowledge that she was the one who saved him, and how she had seen Pidge as Matt when she searched for Te-osh. As for the idea of Olia seeing Matt as her late brother, it was purely speculation, but it was based off of this link I found: https://lionsandpilotsandbots.com/2018/02/04/lauren-montgomerys-captain-olia-head-canon/


	2. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Paladins and Co. are informed of Matt’s spiraling episodes and learn to support a teammate in the process. Meanwhile, Matt and Pidge have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll try to update chapters at least every two weeks!

“And then Matt woke up and started screaming.”

”That was before he stabbed Pidge.”

”Afterwards, Olia restrained him and brought him back to reality.”

”That’s when we took her to the hospital.”

Lance, Keith, and Hunk had gathered Allura and Coran into one of the Garrison conference rooms to explain exactly what had happened.

”Apparently, he was having a nightmare, but when he woke up, he was still in it in his head,” Hunk finished.

”We never had instances like that on Altea,” Allura noted.

”Actually, others have,” Coran told the princess. “Altea was a relatively peaceful planet, so those kinds of cases were rare to come by in an Altean. But I’ve heard stories of other people having issues like that. I‘ve been told that it’s trauma that messes with your mind. But I, uh, can’t remember the term.”

“It’s called “spiraling.””

Everyone turned to see Matt walk through the conference room doors with an almost embarrassed look on his face.

”We heard what happened,” Allura said gently. “If there’s anything we can do—“

”There’s _nothing_ you can do,” Matt hissed suddenly, growing tired of the same empty offering. Allura flinched at his tone. He could practically cut the tension with a knife and took it upon himself to curtly explain what he meant. “Since Olia took it upon herself to reiterate my life’s struggles, I might as well give you the Earth version,” he said sarcastically, waving his bandaged hands in the air. “It’s spiraling to Coran. But to you guys, I apparently unofficially have PTS.”

”Post Traumatic Stress?” Keith cut in. “That hasn’t been common since World War III.”

”Keith, he’s been fighting in space for years,” Hunk said. “I’m honestly surprised that we _don’t_ have PTS.” Hunk thought for a moment. “On second thought, maybe we should get tested,” he muttered to himself worriedly.

Matt glared at his interrupters. “Well,” he continued, “it’s unofficial, meaning that I haven’t had a doctor diagnose me. And I don’t need to get tested either,” he added, glaring at Hunk. “But me having PTS basically means that I freak out at certain things.”

”Freak out?” Keith asked. “Freaking out and _accidentally_  trying to kill your sister are two different things.” He air quoted with his fingers on the word “accidentally.”

Everyone turned towards Keith, frozen in a state of _I-can’t-believe-he-just-said-that._

”Keith, do you even know what PTS actually does to someone?” Lance asked.

”It makes people sensitive to certain things,” Keith responded, “but it doesn’t make people murderous. I would know. I learned about it in history class. We all did.”

Lance was going to shoot something back, but he hesitated at the infuriated look on Matt’s face.

Matt was the one who spoke up. “Might I remind you that as a previous discipline problem, I doubt you paid much attention in class,” he retorted angrily.

Keith glared at Matt. “You’re really going to go there? If you’re talking about how word got around that I punched Griffin, it’s because he mocked my parents. I didn’t stab Pidge in the shoulder with a knife because I had a nightmare.”

”Okay, you both have..wonderful points,” Hunk cut in, making sure that Matt and Keith didn’t fly at each other as he attempted to be the peace negotiator, “but Matt has a..better point?” Hunk quite literally shrank at Keith’s glare. “Not-not about your discipline issues, Keith. About his PTS being more than what you think. It’s more than nightmares. It’s a real psychological problem with people. They see things, hear things; things that aren’t there. They’re plagued with memories from the past and sometimes they can’t break free from a hallucination. That’s what Matt was having. It wasn’t just a nightmare. He saw something traumatic from his past. Didn’t you?”

Matt had balled his hands into fists and was squeezing so hard that he hadn’t realized how much his hands were hurting. “So you’re telling me that you don’t get nightmares, Keith?” He asked, egging him on. “You’re telling me that you don’t panic? That you’re just some powerhouse that doesn’t get affected by _any_ of this?”

”Yep,” Keith said blatantly.

”Not even when you tried to _kamikaze_ yourself during the Coalition invasion?”

Everyone paused and looked to Keith. Even he knew what that meant. Everyone was briefed on the three World Wars in their history class in grade school. Japanese kamikaze pilots would deliberately crash their planes into enemy ships to sink them during World War II, killing themselves in the process. Well, everyone knew this except for Allura and Coran.

”You _what?!”_ Lance exclaimed.

”What does “kamikaze” mean?” Coran asked suspiciously, recognizing that the sudden tension in the room meant that it could only mean something bad.

”Kill himself!” Matt shouted suddenly. “Fly his Galra fighter right into the shield, taking himself out with it! For the sake of the mission, right? None of you knew except for me, but he acted like it was nothing! And I thought _I_ had a bad sense of self worth.“

”Why didn’t you tell us this!?” Hunk asked, shocked.

”If it weren’t for Lotor’s ship, you would have _died,_ Keith,” Lance added.

”Thanks for stating the obvious!” Keith shot back. “What does that have to do with this, Matt?” He asked, agitated that his little stunt had been revealed. He was never one for emotional situations. Even comforting Hunk had been awkward. He’d refrained from telling the team about because he believed that it hadn’t mattered. It never ended up happening, so why bring it up? “Huh? What does my attempt to _save the Coalition_ have to do with you getting a bad blast from the past?”

 _”Everything!”_ Matt shouted. “Continuously pulling the “I’m invincible to emotions” act is only going to bring you down.”

”So pulling the “there’s nothing wrong with me” gag isn’t bringing _you_ down?” Keith shot back, standing up now. “I may have hid that from the team, but you hiding the fact that you could kill someone if you have a nightmare is definitely something worth mentioning.”

“And it would be worth mentioning to the team how you thought that killing yourself would save the mission,” Matt retorted. “Acting like you’re okay won’t help you at all, but pushing others away for the sake of hiding that you have hurt feelings doesn’t do you any good either.” Matt froze suddenly, realizing that his own words were biting him back. This was exactly what Olia would say to him every time he spiraled and pushed others away. Albeit it wasn’t in those exact words, her worried, angry yelling got the message across well enough. He glared at Keith silently, his teeth clenched tightly, before he turned and stormed out of the conference room, leaving the others to talk it out.

”Keith,” Allura said after Matt had left, “killing yourself for the sake of the mission is _never_ worth it. I know that’s what the Blades thought. Knowledge or death, right? Well, _we_  will _always_ find an alternative solution to our problems. A way that doesn’t involve the loss of a teammate; of a leader; and certainly not of a family member.”

Coran nodded. “She’s right, Keith. Think about all you’ve done. Shiro wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. The team wouldn’t have its leader. We wouldn’t be on Earth right now. You’re important, Keith.”

Lance and Hunk nodded in agreement.

”Look man, I gave you the reason why I chose you to be the one to get out of Bob’s game. My thoughts haven’t changed.”

”You’re the one who comforted me about my family. Out of everyone, I’d least expected it from you. But you gave me hope when I was losing it. I won’t forget that.”

Keith stared at everyone with a soft look before giving a small laugh. “Yeah yeah, okay. I got it,” he said with a simple, but genuine, smile. He paused for a moment. “Thanks, you guys.”

 

Olia and Krogell had followed Matt to the Garrison conference room and stayed outside, knowing that it was best that they not interfere. When Matt had stormed out, they caught up to him.

He was sitting on a bench with his elbows resting on his knees. His forehead was placed on his hands which he’d clasped together.

”Matt, you couldn’t avoid it,” Olia said simply. “You spiraled. There wasn’t a way to just sweep it under the rug.”

Matt said nothing and kept his head down.

Olia sighed and leaned back against the wall with her arms crossed. “Krogell, excuse us, please.”

The Unilu looked back and forth between Matt and Olia before he finally submitted to his Captain’s request. “Of course,” he said submissively, heading back down the hall. He decided to wait outside of Pidge’s room.

Once Krogell left, Olia looked over at Matt. “Matt, talk to me,” she said gently. ”You’ve been fighting since the moment you were abducted on your Earth mission, and you haven’t stopped fighting since. You’re still fighting, even now.”

Matt said nothing.

“I know you didn’t want them to know. I know that it was important that you seem fine to them. But you’re not. You’re hurting, and all I want to do is help. But you have to help me understand how.”

Silence.

”Matt.”

”It was better!”

Olia looked down at Matt to see tears falling to the ground. Matt’s face was still hidden, but she knew that he was crying again.

”When Pidge found me, it was better. No nightmares, no spiraling. Maybe a cold sweat once in a while. I was with my sister, and my dad was safe on his way home to let Mom know that we were all alive. But now it’s all back. The spiraling, the nightmares. They won’t go away!” He said with a shaky voice. “It just keeps getting worse. It’s like my brain is on memory autopilot. I have no control over it.”

“You need to stop running,” Olia said with a look of urgency. “We’ve been running for so long. I remember the time when you used to welcome our help. When you used to admit that you were hurting.”

”Thanks, _Mom._  I‘ll make sure to let everyone know whenever I’m having a nightmare so they can tell me that it’ll get better,” he spat.

Olia stared at Matt. Krogell was right. She might see him as her brother, but he didn’t see her that way. He saw her as a mother. That was what he needed right now. She understood. She’d always been motherly to her brother, not even realizing it at times. He didn’t need a temporary “mom” anymore. He had his real parents now. And he needed _them_ more than he needed her. “I know what you need to do,” she said, putting her right fist into the palm of her left hand. “For starters, you need to sleep in your own bed,” she told him, hiding her real intentions of getting him to open up to his parents.

Matt looked up from his hands, staring at Olia with a confused, teary glare. “If that would fix my spiraling, I would have done that the second I touched down on Earth,” he said aggressively.

“Spiraling isn’t something you automatically fix, Matt,” Olia told him. “It’s something you ease. Trauma _can_ heal, but shoving it into the back of your mind won’t help. Admit it. You’re going to have another nightmare. You’re going to spiral again. But this time, you won’t have just me and Krogell. You’ll have your family. Your _real_ family.”

”But—“

”I know, Matt. We’re your real family too. But there’s a difference between the family you were raised by and the family that took you in when you were separated,” Olia reassured him. “I’ve watched you grow, and in those moments of growth—the ones your parents missed—that’s what they need to see.”

”But I—“

”You’ve said so yourself that so long as you aren’t woken up in a nightmare, you won’t attack.” Olia gave him a firm look. “I know that they’ve changed. I know that-that your entire world has changed in the span of a few years, but you have too. You’ve adapted. You always have. You adapted when we rescued you from the labor camp. You adapted when your sister found you. You adapted to save your father. You adapted for all these years, spitting in adversity’s face. And you‘re still adapting, even now.“

More silence.

”Matt, I’ll be there, and so will Krogell. We’ll watch you in case you spiral, but your family will be the one there to comfort you, and you have to let them. You need them more than you realize, and they’ve needed you for a long time. It’s time you integrated your family back into your life. It’s time you stopped fighting them. It’s time you stopped running away.”

Matt didn’t say anything.

”I don’t want to have to track you down in a triage or shelter tonight,” Olia said sternly. “Promise me that you’ll come home. Krogell and I will be there, and you’ll be home at sunset and no later. Promise me!”

”..Okay. I promise.”

 

Pidge was asleep when Olia brought Matt outside of her room. Sam and Colleen were both in chairs at the foot of their daughter’s bed. Shiro had gone to the Atlas to speak with the others and explain Matt’s situation more thoroughly after learning about their big argument.

Matt looked over at Pidge through the door, seeing her sling and the IV drip in her arm. “I’m sorry,” he said shakily, tearing up again. Every time it seemed as though he had shed his last tears for the day, more came. “I’m sorry, Pidge,” he said again, his face contorted in a distraught look.

Colleen stood up and came out of the room after seeing Matt through the doorway. Relief flooded her to know that he was here and that he was okay, physically at least. She approached Matt cautiously before taking his hands gently in hers, minding his injured palms.

Matt began shaking before he broke down again, not realizing how much he had been depriving himself of his mother’s touch.

Colleen reached out and wrapped her arms around him, placing a hand on the back of his head. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” she said, kneeling to the ground with Matt crying into her arm. “Mom is here.”

Sam came over and joined in the hug. “We’re here for you, kiddo,” he told his son. “We’re here now.”

 

It was further in the day around noon time. Everyone had gathered into Pidge’s room in silence to allow her to continue sleeping. The pain killers were keeping her under to keep her comfortable. Lance, Hunk, and Keith sat around the sides of the bed while Shiro stood at the foot of it. Krogell was talking to Matt further down the hallway. Sam and Colleen were out in the hallway across from Pidge’s room speaking to Olia and Dr. Guglielmo.

“The biggest step he could take right now is admitting his fears and doubts,” the professor said softly, making sure that Matt and the others wouldn’t hear. “I was notified of the mishap in the Atlas conference room and about Matt’s condition. The security cameras on the Atlas caught footage of the argument, so I analyzed it. I hope you’ll excuse my intrusion.”

Olia wasn’t on board with this at all. “So you were spying on them? You’re an unofficial psyche healer, right? So you shouldn’t need to spy on others to get information for your database.”

”Psyche healer?” Dr. Guglielmo asked.

”I believe Olia means a “therapist,” Doctor,” Sam responded. “Olia, understand that she’s only trying to help.”

Olia glared at the professor. “I spoke to plenty of-of _therapists_ while I was on the frontlines. All they do is root around in your head and attempt to _cure_  what they’d call “head problems.” They didn’t take others’ emotions into consideration. They didn’t see the things their “patients” went through. They didn’t experience their trauma. But they acted all high and mighty, thinking they could “heal our psyches _”_ just by making us relive those moments until we grew hardened to them.”

Dr. Guglielmo looked at Olia with a sympathetic look. “Captain Olia, I can assure you that I am not like the-the “psyche healers” you dealt with in your star systems. I understand that your experiences with a similar ideaology has left a bad taste in your mouth, but I have been trained to understand, to absorb, and to reflect on people’s trauma. Not to harden them to it.”

Sam sighed. “Olia, Dr. G. is correct. She’s helped Colleen out a lot since I was first announced dead on the Kerberos mission.”

Olia still wasn’t quite convinced. “And what do you plan to do? Make Matt relive his experiences in space? Make him talk about every traumatic moment in his life?”

Colleen placed a hand on Olia’s shoulder. “Olia, I wasn’t keen on the idea either, but my husband is right. After Sam and Matt were pronounced dead and Katie ran away, I was struggling. But Dr. Guglielmo helped me handle my emotions and process them. She helped me regain control over my life. And now, I think she could help Matt.”

Olia’s worried expression slowly began to melt away to one of submission. “And how are you planning on helping Matt?”

Dr. G. smiled at Olia. “Talking. And I won’t even have to do any of it. When Hunk, Lance, and Keith were explaining what had happened to Matt to the Alteans and Matt happened to walk in, they actually did very well.”

”In yelling at each other?” Olia asked crossly.

”In talking. In Matt’s outburst, he not only revealed a crucial piece of trauma Keith went through, but gave the others the chance to give Keith the support he needed. Even better, Matt revealed a lot about his thought process.”

”How did he do that?” Colleen asked curiously.

”His words,” Dr. Guglielmo said with a warm smile. “He gave Keith very good advice even if it was pretty rough around the edges. It was advice that he himself has been given as well, but has refused to follow personally. That shows that he hears you, and that he understands the meaning behind it. He just doesn’t know how to follow through. Now, everyone’s mind is different. Sometimes people are more affected by something than another. But it taught me a lot about Matt and about the dynamic of the team in general.”

Olia crossed her arms, visibly concerned as she mulled over what the professor was telling her. “Why can’t he follow through?” She asked. “Why does he have such difficulty speaking to us? To me?”

”Matt has gone through an enormous amount of trauma,” the professor explained, “and his reactions to it have been to try and forget it all. You may have noticed how defensive he gets when you try to get him to open up. He’s learned to defend himself in every way possible, and that includes a psychological defense as well. Perhaps, the reason why he hasn’t been able to fully open up to you about his emotions, is because of your connection with him.”

“What the ruggle is that supposed to mean?” Olia snapped, growing defensive herself.

”What I mean is that Matt needs someone to see things from a different perspective.”

”I don’t follow,” Olia said simply.

”What I mean,” Dr. G. explained, “is that you’re too much of a mother figure. He likely won’t open up to you either,” she added, looking to Colleen and Sam. “At least not yet. I think what he needs is someone who is down on his level. Someone who can connect with him in a different way. Someone who has a bond unlike that of a worrisome parent.”

”You mean Katie, don’t you?” Sam asked, speaking up. “You think she’ll be able to get through to Matt?”

“I believe so,” she responded.

”But why Katie?” Colleen asked. “How will she be able to get through to him? What if she can’t? If Katie can’t get through to Matt, then who can?”

”Katie is a sibling. Siblings are often more open to each other than they are to their parents. Besides, I have confidence in your daughter,” Dr. Guglielmo said. “Don’t you?”

”Of course,” Sam and Colleen said immediately in unison.

The professor chuckled. “That’s all I needed to hear. Olia, you said you’re having him sleep in his own bed for the first time since before the Kerberos mission, correct?”

”That is correct,” the Captain responded. “But if he needs a sibling’s perspective, why hasn’t Krogell gotten him to open up?”

”Krogell actually spoke to me earlier,” Dr. G. admitted. “He didn’t want me telling you before because he knew you’d grow upset before hearing me out. He told me about his relationship with Matt and what he’s learned. He’s actually learned a lot more than what any of you have. You’re right, Krogell is a sibling as well. But not like Katie. Matt and Katie have a very close relationship. They trust in each other. She should be the one to console Matt tonight before he goes home.“

“I told Matt to be at home by sunset,” Olia mentioned, wanting to hold him up to that set time.

”Have them talk before, then,” Dr. G. said. “The siblings talking to each other is crucial.”

Olia understood what she meant by that. Pidge was a completely different perspective in Matt’s eyes, especially from her own or Krogell. “Alright,” she complied.

 

With the plan having been set, Dr. G. had asked for Colleen, Sam, and Olia to describe everything they could about Matt and Pidge. It took them a little over an hour to describe things like the siblings’ relationship, their personalities—or at least how they knew them separately—and so on.

Afterwards, Olia went over to snatch Matt from Krogell. “Come on, you’re going to hang out with your sister,” she said rather forcefully, grabbing his wrist and dragging him down the hallway.

”Olia! Wait,” he said, pulling at her, but to no avail. “Krogell?” He asked, looking to his Unilu friend for any help.

”Hey, you’re on your own with this,” Krogell said, putting all four hands up. “You gotta face Pidge at some point.”

Matt gave Krogell an _I’m-going-to-kill-you_ look as Olia pulled him through the hallway.

Colleen and Sam had visited with Pidge for a while after their talk with Dr. Guglielmo and Olia. Afterwards, Shiro had arrived with the team. Colleen and Sam left to get some sleep after several bouts of reassurance from both Allura and Coran, Shiro, Lance, Keith, and Hunk.

Olia and Matt were outside the door when they walked in to quite the scene.

”You _what!?”_

It appeared that Pidge had woken up just a little while ago and was given the news about Keith’s stunt during the Coalition invasion. She was sitting up now and grabbing a book off of the bed before promptly chucking it at Keith with deadly precision.

Keith, who easily could have dodged, felt the book connect with his face as he fell backwards, unable to move out of pure shock. “Pidge, what was that for!?” He asked as he stood up, rubbing his forehead.

”You tried to destroy the shield by crashing into it with a Galra fighter! You’re lucky I didn’t throw the vase!” Pidge motioned to the glass vase with daisies in it.

”Easy, Number 5, let’s not break one of your Earth valuables,” Coran said lightly, scratching his head.

”How did Matt know about this but we didn’t?” Pidge asked, infuriated.

”I was on a line with Matt,” Keith admitted. “But I didn’t think he’d realized what I was doing.”

”Keith, you’re lucky Pidge is hospitalized, or she’d tase you with her Bayard right here, right now,” Lance said with a smirk.

”I think I just might,” Pidge grumbled, shifting in bed as she tried to get up before audibly groaning, grabbing onto her left shoulder.

”Pidge, don’t get up,” Hunk told her, forcing her back into bed.

Shiro crossed his arms, knowing well that Hunk would keep Pidge in her bed before he had to do anything. “You know that the doctor said you’re not supposed to get up unless absolutely necessary. Even then, you’d still have to keep your IV in.”

”When can I leave?” She asked, itching to get out of the hospital room already. She wanted to go talk to Matt, but there was no way they’d be able to properly have a conversation so long as she was in this bed.

“Six to eight week’s bed rest and then physical therapy, but only if you don’t move and let your shoulder heal,” Shiro told her. “If you keep jostling it around, it’ll just keep reopening the wound. It’ll never heal over properly. We don’t have the cryopods anymore.”

Pidge grumbled as she sat back with an unamused glare. She was about to say something pretty cynical when everyone’s attention turned towards the door. Matt stood in the entrance way with Olia trailing behind him. He looked nervous.

It was awkward at first as silence quickly followed, but everyone saw Olia’s glare that transitioned from them to the door and back again. She was practically screaming “get out” in chilling silence.

”Well, Coran and I have to go tend to the Coalition, seeing as others need wormholes to get to Earth,” Allura spoke up, dragging Coran away from Pidge’s bedside.

Hunk got up as well. “I have to head home, anyways. Uncle Filo is making his amazing pork lau lau tonight.”

Lance quickly followed suit. “My cousins are probably waiting for me.”

“I should probably go speak with Iverson,” Shiro said.

Keith nodded. “I told Krolia I’d help her and Kolivan with Blade work.” He was the last of the bunch to leave, but as he passed by, he paused briefly. “I’m sorry about before,” he said under his breath but so Matt would hear. “I was ignorant and wrong.”

Matt glanced up at Keith who had a genuine look of apology. “I’m sorry too,” he replied softly. “I was out of line.”

Both of them acknowledged each other, and after everyone had left the room, Olia was the last one to leave. “Sunset, Matt,” she said sternly before leaving the room.

Now, it was just Matt and Pidge. Matt had gone and sat down in a chair next to Pidge.

”So, are you doing better?” Pidge spoke up, looking at her brother with a worried expression.

Matt looked down at the floor and evaded eye contact. “I could ask you the same thing,” he said.

Pidge caught a glimpse of her brother’s expression and recognized it almost immediately. It was the same look he’d given her when he broke the news to her that their father had already been moved, and that they had been too late to rescue him at the Galra prison. “Matt, I’m not mad,” she said, trying to reassure him. “Just..confused. Why didn’t you tell me?”

”It’s not your job to worry about me,” Matt responded, sounding tired and defeated. “You have an entire universe to save.”

”You’re part of that universe,” Pidge shot back. “You’re my brother, and the fact that you’ve apparently been abducted by the Galra twice now and have been in space for twice as long as I have; well, that’s room for concern.” Well, now that she thought of it, was it twice as long psychologically or physically? One could argue that it was both. Matt had been in space for a year before Pidge had found him at the outpost. After that, they’d rescued their father and seen him off as he traveled back to Earth. According to Dad, it had taken him a year to get to Earth, and another year after that to contact Matt and the remains of the Coalition six months after Voltron had fought Lotor and disappeared. That very year was also when Sendak invaded. He invaded and occupied Earth for a year, because afterwards, she and the others had woken up. Axca had said it had been three years since Voltron fought Lotor, so Dad returning to Earth—

It was all too confusing. Pidge made a mental note to calculate it later. Matt had cut off her thoughts anyways.

”It’s just PTS, Pidge. It went away before and it’ll go away again.”

”It won’t and you know it,” Pidge replied rather curtly. “You always say, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” But guess what? It does.”

Matt flinched at this comment, keeping his head down.

Pidge continued. “And that’s not the worst of it,” she added. “What’s worse is that it’s hurting you more than it’s hurting us.”

”But that’s not true!” Matt said suddenly, lifting his head up to face Pidge with an angry expression. “I tried to kill you. I’ve tried to kill Krogell. I’ll probably try to kill someone else the next time I spiral too.”

”But it’s not your fault,” Pidge said, desperately trying to get through to Matt. “You have this idea that if no one knows that you’re suffering, then it’s better for everyone, but it’s not. _You’re_  suffering while everyone else goes on with their lives, ignorant of your hurting.”

Matt’s angry expression suddenly went blank. She was right. This was exactly what Olia would always tell him, but for some reason, Pidge was getting through to him more than Olia ever had. Maybe it was because Pidge was so stubborn that she wouldn’t quit even if she had to beat it into him. But he knew why deep down. It was because she was his sister. They looked out for each other, not with the hovering parent method, but with reassurance and just a little bit of a push. Okay, a big push from Pidge.

“Matt, why didn’t you want anyone else to know?” Pidge asked again. “You still haven’t told me why. And I have plenty of other questions that you’ve dodged too.”

Matt didn’t answer. He knew exactly why, but he still didn’t want her to know.

”Matt,” Pidge pressed on, “why didn’t you want us to know about your PTS?”

”Because I was scared to tell you,” Matt finally admitted softly.

”But why?” Pidge asked more gently this time.

”You all seemed okay,” Matt explained. “You didn’t seem fazed by anything that had happened to you. None of you had nightmares. None of you spiraled.”

”That’s not true,” Pidge said.

”But I would watch you,” Matt urged. “I would watch you guys work when the Coalition and Voltron came together on Olkarion.”

”Shiro threw Sendak’s cryo-frozen body out into space,” Pidge told Matt, “and I’m pretty sure it was because he had a panic attack. Don’t tell Shiro, but I rewatched the castle security feed to find out why Shiro had sent Sendak’s cryopod into space after he wouldn’t give us a solid reason. He looked scared, stressed out, anxious even.”

Matt had a look of shock and worry on his face. “Are you serious?” He asked.

”I wouldn’t lie to you,” Pidge replied. She leaned over and held onto Matt’s wrist. “I want to help you,” she told him. “And you’re going to let me.”

Matt stared at Pidge’s expression. There it was, tough and unyielding, yet caring. There may have even been a hint of desperation as well, though it probably accounted to Pidge being desperate for Matt to finally accept help instead of carrying everything on his shoulders. “Okay,” he said, submitting to his sister’s request. “Okay.”

 

Pidge ended up being a better “therapist” than she’d thought she would be. She was able to get Matt talking at least, having him recount missions with his squadron and even tales of his training sessions with Te-osh. However, there was one point where Matt clammed up. He’d been talking about how the Coalition remained in hiding and some of the close calls when he mentioned the Blade of Marmora. He began describing how they fared in hiding before he stopped talking suddenly, freezing up and growing pale. Pidge knew exactly what he was about to describe.

Macidus, the Druid Pidge and the team had discovered in the ruins, had told them the haunting story of the Druids sent by Haggar to wipe out the Blades of Marmora. Pidge also remembered how Olia had said that one of Matt’s triggers was Haggar or the Druids. After that, Matt wouldn’t talk about them or about the Blades. He would barely even continue his stories of the Coalition’s survival. She would have to work on that later.

It came time for Matt to leave and head home, lest he endure Olia’s fury for not returning home at sunset. He called his parents and put them up on a holographic screen for Pidge to see. She said goodnight to them, knowing that they needed to be home for Matt. It was fine, anyways. Shiro had come over and volunteered to keep Pidge company until she fell asleep.

Matt headed home and arrived just in time. Olia had been leaning against the house with her back to the wall, her arms crossed casually. “You’re on time. Good work,” she said with a grin. “How was the talk? Did it help?” She asked curiously.

”It did,” Matt said with a smile.

It was a genuine smile Olia hadn’t seen in a long time. “Good,” she replied. “Come on, I haven’t been in your house yet. You’ve got to give me a tour of the place.”

”If nothing has changed, I’ll give you the grand tour,” Matt promised as he opened the door. As soon as he walked into the hall, his mother greeted him with a large hug accompanied by his father.

”Hey, Matt,” Sam greeted. “You doing better?”

”Yeah, Dad,” he replied after being relinquished from his mother’s grasp.

”It’s been a long day,” Colleen noted. “Go take a shower and get out of that uniform and into something casual,” she told Matt, handing him a t-shirt and pants.

Matt heeded her orders and went to the bathroom. It was still the same as the day he left for the Kerberos mission. Matt changed out of his rebel uniform and showered, standing still as he let the hot water fall down his body. He had always washed himself and his uniform if he got the chance while hiding out in space, but being able to shower with hot water after all this time was one of the greatest experiences he’d ever felt.

 

While Matt was in the shower, Olia had sat down with the Holts. “You two can get some sleep. I’ll watch over him first.” Olia was explaining how the first night would work. They had set up a plan to have a nightwatch. They would rotate every three hours with someone sitting just outside of Matt’s room. His door would remain open. “Remember. If he has any kind of nightmare, waking him up before he wakes himself up will only make him spiral.”

”So we have to let him suffer?” Colleen asked with a tone of worry.

”I don’t like it either, trust me,” Olia said, “but you saw what the end result was today, and it all happened within the span of a few doboshes.”

”It’ll be for the best, Colleen,” Sam reassured.

”You‘ll be there for him when he wakes up,” Olia promised. “That’s what really counts. I’ll be asking Pidge how her talk went with Matt tomorrow, but based on how Matt has been acting since he got home, I think it went well. He isn’t drawn back or hesitant. He’s enjoying reminiscing all of the Earthly things he’d missed.”

Sam and Colleen looked at each other before turning back to Olia. “Okay,” they both said. “We’re ready.”

 

Although his hands stung, Matt powered through the minor inconvenience and rewrapped them with new bandages after he got out of the shower and dried himself off. He changed into the comfier set of clothes, feeling a flood of emotions all at once. On one hand, it felt wonderful to have on a fresh change of clothes. On the other hand, he’d grown so used to his uniform that it was difficult to part with, albeit only temporarily. He stood in front of the mirror, getting a good look at how long his hair had grown while out in space. He had cut it at first, but it soon grew tedious, and he gave up and eventually let it grow out over the years. He put it back up in the simple, messy ponytail before leaving the bathroom.

It was only nine o’clock, but Matt was ready to go to bed. After all, a lot had happened today. He’d had a sleepover the night before. He then had a nightmare and spiraled while trying to kill Pidge around dawn. He promptly went to the hospital afterwards, but only after Krogell was able to calm him down after he’d booked it. He went off on Olia after learning that she’d described his condition to Shiro, Pidge, and his parents, and then proceeded to find the team in the middle of debriefing the event to Allura and Coran and had gone off on them as well. He had then apologized later when Olia dragged him into Pidge’s room, making a silent but genuine amends with the Paladins’ leader. Afterwards, he’d had a mostly refreshing talk session with Pidge. It was a long day.

Matt walked into his room, surprised to find it exactly how he’d left it. Even the books that had fallen off of his desk in his hurry to catch up with his dad outside for pictures before the Kerberos mission were still on the floor.

”After you and your father were presumed dead, I didn’t want to change anything,” Colleen said, walking up behind her son. “I couldn’t.”

Sam came up behind Colleen and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Ironically, _everything_ has changed now,” he told her in a playful manner. He watched as Matt walked into the room and sat down on his bed, seeing a sort of look of relief on his son’s face. “Get a good night’s sleep tonight, Matt,” he told him.

 _It’s all I’ve ever wanted,_ Matt thought. “Alright,” he said instead, smiling at his parents. Both of them gave him another big hug before they turned out the lights. Little did he know that Olia was sitting outside of his room, keeping a close look out in case he had another nightmare.

Matt laid down in his bed, noticing the immediate change in comfort from what he was used to. Sure, this would have been like any other bed back before the Kerberos mission. However, during his time with the rebels, there’d been nothing but cots or thin blankets to sleep on. In fact, the cots were luxurious compared to sleeping on a thin blanket on the hard ground of an abandoned planet. This was like a cloud compared to what Matt had grown accustomed to. Before he closed his eyes, he checked the far right corner of his room. His metal staff was lying against the wall. Matt had instinctually moved anything that could be weaponized away from the bed.

He wasn’t sure if he should fall asleep yet or try and stay awake at first. On one hand, Olia had specifically told him to sleep. On the other hand, he was too nervous to sleep. He shifted in his bed as he tried to make up his mind before it made itself up for him. He drifted before he even realized it.

 

_It was chaos. When Matt opened his eyes, he was standing in the middle of a smoking battlefield. Fireballs were exploding in the background. Ion cannons were destroying the Olkari defenses. Sentries were blasting anything that moved._

_”Commander, what are you doing!? Get out the way!”_

_Matt felt himself being pulled backwards and behind some fallen debris. When he looked over with a distant stare, he saw Olia in front of him. She was ragged looking and breathing heavily. “What are you doing?” She asked again. “You spaced out in the middle of the battlefield!”_

_Matt knew where he was. He was at that time. But he didn’t know that, not within his dream at least._

_”Why do you keep calling me that?” He snapped back instead, unaware that he was actually reliving this memory subconsciously. “Why do you keep calling me “Commander?””_

_“Your identity—“_

_”Is my lifeline? Guess what, Olia. We all die. There’s no point in running from it,” he spat. Matt stood up, aware that there were sentries marching towards a group of injured Olkari troops. “Running headfirst might at least save someone else from dying.”_

_“Matt, don’t think like that,” Olia warned him. “You’ve been like this ever since—“_

_”Ever since what?” Matt snarled. “Since I learned that you’d kept Te-osh’s death from me for over a year? That she_ died, _and I never knew until after I’d just contacted my parents for probably the last time? I’m saving lives.”_

_”You’re risking your own life for nothing!” Olia urged. “You’re taking risks that are unnecessary. Charging the sentries head on is a death wish!”_

_”Then I’ll be with Pidge, at least,” Matt said darkly before standing up. He_ _whipped out his metal staff and immediately got to work, rushing away from Olia and towards the marching sentries, dodging their guns as they blasted at him._

_”Matthew!” Olia rose to stop him before turning around and seeing a troop of sentries with their guns pointed at her. Any movement and she would be blasted to bits. Olia had no choice._

_”Lay down your weapons,” one sentry ordered._

_Olia complied and slowly dropped the dual blades she held in her hands. She then raised them in the air._

_”Move.”_

_Olia was marched to a section of the city where refugees and rebels were being lined up in separate sections. Explosions still rang out in the background. She was taken to a section where Ryner and Ozar stood on their knees with their hands on their heads. She was told to do the same. “I won’t kneel to the Galra,” she said defiantly. One of the sentries turned their gun on her, but she refused to kneel._

_”Stand down.” A Galra general approached Olia and the line. “I am Commander Grypp. Who are you?”_

_Olia spat on the ground. “That doesn’t concern you.”_

_Ozar and Ryner glanced at each other worriedly. Olia was in for a rude awakening._

_”You rebels were never fond of politeness, were you?” The Galra general grabbed one of the sentry’s guns with wicked speed and aimed it at the Captain’s leg before firing._

_Olia let out a pained scream filled with agony and fury. She knelt to the ground, grabbing onto the sizzling area just above her right knee._

_”There. Now you are kneeling.” Commander Grypp narrowed his eyes. He positioned the gun to Olia’s forehead. “I will not repeat myself, rebel. Who are you?”_

_”No, don’t!” Ryner cut in before she was hit in the back of the head by a sentry, knocking her out cold._

_Olia slowly lifted her head up to look the Galra in the eye. She glared at him harshly, saying nothing._

_Commander Grypp stared back at her. “This section has been reserved for high ranking rebel fighters. Lieutenant Ozar led missions on Kraydah’s Moon. You were seen leading rebel forces on an attack against the Zaiforge Cannon located in orbit around Planet Teq. Tell me your place in the rebels, and I will spare the Olkari leader, Ryner.”_

_Olia shot a quick glance towards Ryner. She was out cold, and several sentries had their guns trained on her. “Captain Olia,” she responded quickly, turning her attention back to the general. So much for her lifeline. “I command a small squadron,” she added, refusing to put the lives of her team in jeopardy. Naming them would only put them at risk, but not saying who she commanded would get Ryner killed. She had already noticed Krogell in a line with other rebel officers. Matt was nowhere to be found, so that meant that he was safe, or still fighting._

_”Captain Olia,” General Grypp repeated, smirking suddenly. “Good to know I had the information correct.”_

_Furious, Olia snarled at him. “Why go through the trouble of asking if you know who I am?”_

_The Galra smiled lightly. “Because, Captain. I wanted to know that I was finally exterminating the sister and spouse of the vermin I exterminated all those years ago.”_

_Olia widened her eyes at this as the gun against her forehead fired up with a high pitched sound. This was him. This was the Galra that had killed her brother and husband._

_”Captain, no!” Ozar shouted, struggling against the several sentries that restrained him._

_Enraged, Olia bared her teeth at the general and screamed, “You piece of—“_

_”MURDERER!”_

_Olia turned her head to see Matt flying through the air as he landed a solid hit to General Grypp’s head with his staff, sending the Galra general stumbling backwards as the gun in his hand fired off, hitting the dirt a mere few inches from Olia. She stared in shock, no longer even feeling the burning sensation in her leg as her adrenaline began to kick in._

_”Captain, move!”_

_Olia felt strong arms grabbing her. She began to struggle against them before realizing that it was Ozar._ _Amidst the chaos, she hadn’t realized what had happened._   _The rebels were fighting back against the sentries now thanks to the distraction, and Matt was squaring off against the now infuriated Galra general with a look of pure fury she hadn’t seen since he’d learned of Te-osh’s death. Krogell was running towards her with a worried expression._

_”Krogell, get Olia away from the frontlines. I’ll grab Ryner,” Ozar told the Unilu._

_Krogell nodded and grabbed Olia’s arm, slinging it over his shoulders and behind his neck as he helped her to her feet. “We need to get you out of here,” Krogell said._

_”No, Matt needs our help!” Olia urged, fighting against Krogell._

_”Matt can hold Grypp off long enough for Ozar to get Ryner out of here, but you need to get out too. You can’t walk.”_

_”Try me,” Olia growled. She slowly tried to put pressure onto her leg before she stumbled._

_”Exactly,” Krogell shot back. “We need to get you to cover. Matt can hold his own for enough time.”_

_Olia stared at Matt fighting before finally submitting. “Okay.”_

 

_Matt swung his staff at the general who managed to jump back just in time. “You murdering pig!” He screeched, twirling it in his hands with skill as he went on the offensive, striking at the general with all his might._

_”You are a minor inconvenience!” Grypp shouted, enraged. He had his own weapon: a glowing, purple trident. He swung it at Matt, a clanging sound erupting from the two weapons clashing. “I will crush you and your pathetic little resistance. You’ll die out, just like that wretched weakling’s family!”_

_”She had a husband and a brother!” Matt screamed, holding his own against the Galra’s strength. “You killed her only family and made her a widow! Her children are fatherless now!”_

_”I’ll soon make them orphans as well!” Grypp snarled, suddenly surging forward as he threw Matt backwards with enough strength to send him through a wall of debris._

_Matt hit the wall hard, feeling his body being scraped and bruised as he crashed through it and rolled on the ground. He coughed feebly before staggering to his feet. Before the dust even cleared, he saw Grypp rush towards him with his trident. He was barely able to get his staff up in time to defend before Grypp slammed him into another wall of debris. This one didn’t provide any crumbling for him to escape._

_Grypp pressed his trident against Matt’s staff, slowly pressing it down against his throat. “I will squeeze every last breath out of you,” he snarled, slowly choking Matt before he was blasted away by a purple laser. He hit the ground and didn’t rise._

_Matt fell to the ground, heaving for air in a coughing mess before he dizzily looked up, seeing Olia leaning on her left leg with a Galran gun pointed at the downed general. Ozar and Krogell were running towards her. Olia’s pupils were dilated as far as they could go, and there was a look of pure hatred in her eyes._

_“That was for my brother and my husband,” she said simply, her tone laced with venom._

_Matt was still on his hands and knees when he saw something—no, someone—animate behind Olia. They raised their purple hands as they began to crackle with an all too familiar glowing energy._

_“Olia, behind you!”_

_”Captain!”_

_Matt thought he froze longer than he actually did. Ozar and Krogell were too far away to do anything. He was the closest. Without even really thinking, he shot forward, screaming “Druid!” before he pushed Olia out of the way. In that moment, he felt a searing pain enter his chest—_

 

Matt shot up in bed in a cold sweat, clutching his chest as he struggled to breath. He could still smell his own, smoking flesh and feel the sickening feeling of hot blood pouring out of the gaping hole in his chest. Olia’s and Krogell’s screams rang in his ears as he heaved in deep breaths, trying to get his breath back. The burning pain in his chest slowly receded as he came back to reality.

”Matthew?”

He turned to his left with a fearful stare, seeing his mother standing at the side of his bed.

“It’s okay,” she said, moving forward gently.

Matt flinched at first and moved back, causing Colleen to stop.

”It’s just me, Matt. It’s Mom.”

Matt stared at his mother, feeling his body drenched in sweat before he began to cry. He’d cried so much in the last twenty-four hours that it was almost ridiculous.

Colleen sat down next to Matt on the bed and opened her arms, inviting her son into her comforting hold.

Matt leaned into her, crying into her shoulder as he shook.

Colleen closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Matt. “I’m right here,” she told him. “I’m right here.”

Outside of the room, Olia and Sam leaned against the wall with their ears pressed to it.

“Did it work?” Sam whispered. “Is he fighting her?”

”It worked,” Olia breathed as she peeked into the room. “He usually brushes it off like it was nothing. He never embraces us about it, and if we try to help, he gets defensive. Trust me. It worked.”

”Now we just have to get him to talk about it,” Sam said softly.

Olia sighed. “Getting him to even address it is difficult. Getting him to talk about his nightmares? That’s the hard part.”

The two peeked into the room together this time, seeing Matt being cradled in Colleen’s arms. It was a small step, not automatically retreating into a shell of defensiveness and aggression. But everyone knew the famous words of Armstrong, the very first man to step foot on the moon. Tailored to Matt, it was one small step for him, but one giant leap along the road to recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if the healing time for Pidge’s injury is accurate. I just guesstimated based on the healing time it would take for a “broken” shoulder to heal. Obviously, broken is different from stabbed, but stab wounds differ and have no exact estimated healing time period whereas most breaks in shoulders need only about six weeks to heal.


	3. Old Foes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes several weeks for Pidge to be able to get back on her feet and start physical therapy, but when she does, she has an unexpected reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins at a time skip! It’s been a month and a half since the incident with Pidge’s shoulder, and she is now in physical therapy.
> 
> Also, sorry about the wait! I can assure you that this story is still being continued. School is just kicking ass, so whenever I can get a chapter up will be when it gets updated.
> 
> I’m also sorry about how short and garbage-y this chapter is compared to the others. I had to rewrite this chapter at least three times because I’d had a lot of different ideas about where to take the story, and the final idea I decided upon requires a few short time skips and looks into the past. This shorter chapter will give me a tiny lead off so I can plan where to add retellings of the past versus time skips to relay information.

“Good! And now small circles.”

Pidge groaned in agitation as she lifted her left arm and began rotating it forwards in small circles, much like the stretches she would see sports kids do before a game back in middle school. It had been over a month now since Matt’s spiraling episode where he’d attacked her, and now that she was finally out of that hospital room, Pidge had thought that she would finally have freedom again. She thought wrong. Three times a week she had to go to a physical therapy center and work on her shoulder for hours at a time. Most of the time, it was tedious work as well. No overexerting herself, her therapist would tell her.

”Good job, Pidge!” The tall woman with a brown pixie haircut exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “That’s it for now! Remember: hydrate yourself, eat healthy, and practice your stretches. And most importantly, don’t—“

”Don’t overexert myself,” Pidge said monotonously, cutting her off. “Thanks, Gina,” she said before turning and leaving rather quickly.

”See you on Monday!”

As soon as Pidge was out of the therapist’s sight, she booked it out of the center and out the front doors, finding Matt in his usual rebel attire. “Hey, Matt!” She called out, running up to him.

”How was today’s session?” He asked with a sympathetic smile.

”I knew you said it would be boring, but I didn’t think it would be _this_ boring,” Pidge complained. “She had me spinning my arm until I thought it would fall off.”

”Yeah, but remember,” Matt said, “it’s to regain your strength in the area.” His gaze lingered towards Pidge’s left shoulder.

Pidge noticed Matt staring before she elbowed him, knocking him out of his trance. “What did I tell you?” She asked rather forcefully.

Matt sighed. “I know, I know. Don’t think for a second that it’s my fault, because it isn’t, and you’re perfectly okay now,” he said almost robotically. Pidge had noticed that Matt would lose himself at times after the incident. She knew that he was still sorry after all this time, and to keep him from worrying, she would make him repeat that exact phrasing, word for word. Thankfully, it usually worked, and after Matt said it, he would stop worrying about that hectic day.

”Hey, want to go sparring today?” Pidge asked excitedly. Against her therapist’s orders, she’d begun light training with her brother and Krogell in secrecy. Matt still wasn’t completely on board with it, but he would let it slide seeing that it was something he would probably do as well.

”Are you sure you want to spar today?” Matt asked worriedly. “You know that Gina told you not to overexert yourself. You’ve only been in therapy for a few weeks now, and you’ve got another month and a half before you’re allowed to really start going at it like you usually do again.”

”Oh come on,” Pidge pleaded. “You always told me, “what the Garrison doesn’t know won’t hurt ‘em.” Well, what Gina doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

Matt sighed. “Okay, fine. But _lightly._  You don’t want to have to explain to Gina again why you were sore the last time you went to a session.”

”Okay, in my defense, I tripped,” Pidge said as they began walking. “It wasn’t your fault or Krogell’s.”

”Sure you did,” Matt said, smirking. “And my foot just happened to be there as you charged me straight on, screaming that you had the strengt of a pack of Yalmors.”

 

Thanks to the Galran invasion, it had prompted the Garrison to build training decks. It wasn’t nearly as massive or technologically advanced as the Castle of Lions’, but it would do for now. The Olkari had promised that after repairs to the Garrison and its fighter jets were completed, they would update the training decks and make them more suitable for single-person fighters. For now, it was mainly for two or more people when they wanted to have a sparring session.

Matt and Pidge walked down the hall, seeing Krogell at the end of it.

”You took your sweet time,” he said cheekily with all four arms resting on his hips.

”It’s a long walk,” Pidge proclaimed as she held up a hand, high-fiving the Unilu. “You ready to get your butt kicked?” She asked daringly.

”Ahem!” Matt coughed rather loudly.

Pidge stared at her brother unamused before turning back to Krogell with an over exaggerated sigh. “Lightly,” she said with a groan.

”Aw, but that’s no—“

Matt’s fiery glare seemed to burn through Krogell.

”Heh. Yeah, of course. Lightly.”

 

”Colleen, Sam, Olia, come on in.” Dr. Guglielmo smiled as the three entered her office.

The three were meeting once a week now with the professor, updating her on Matt’s condition and how he was coping.

“So, why don’t we get right down to business. How has Matt been doing?”

”Not horribly,” Olia responded almost immediately. Although she had been pretty against the professor’s help in the beginning, she’d grown to appreciate her different perspective. She certainly wasn’t like the psyche healers. “He still has nightmares almost every night, but they aren’t as bad as they used to be.”

Sam nodded. “He still wakes up scared and out of it, but he doesn’t wake up screaming anymore.”

Colleen spoke up, adding onto Sam’s comment. “Oh, but on good nights, he’ll just wake up suddenly, a little shaken, but then go right back to sleep without needing any comforting. Like a cold sweat.”

Dr. G. smiled. “I’m really glad to hear that,” she told them genuinely. “That’s excellent development on Matt’s part. Tell me, has Pidge been able to get him to open up to you at all?”

Sam and Colleen looked at each other, their happy expression fading.

It was Olia who answered that question. “I think Pidge knows more than she’s been letting on,” the Captain admitted. “One night, Matt was feeling a little homesick. Ironically, it wasn’t for his home. It was for the others in his squadron. So Colleen and Sam allowed Matt to sleep with us for just one night, and since Pidge had just gotten out of the hospital, she decided to stay with us for the night as well.”

“We weren’t too keen on this idea,” Colleen admitted, “but I didn’t want to keep Matt from his other family. They took him in and kept him safe. The least I could do was let Matt keep them in his life.”

Olia seemed to flinch at Colleen’s statement about her squadron keeping Matt safe.

Colleen and Sam didn’t seem to notice, but Dr. G. certainly did. She refrained from saying anything, however, as she could tell that that was an entirely different conversation they would need to have at a later date.

Olia spoke up once more. “Matt had another nightmare that night, but Pidge was able to calm him down. But I think this nightmare rattled him more than usual. And with Pidge there, I guess he let his guard down. I don’t know what he told her, but when I asked Pidge if she and Matt were okay, she just had this blank stare on her face, as if she’d just seen something truly horrible.”

Dr. Guglielmo thought on this for a moment, her hands clasped together as she put her chin to them, her elbows resting on her knees. “Siblings oftentimes trust each other with their emotions more than with their parents,” she finally answered, understanding why Pidge probably knew more than she was admitting to. “Matt has probably asked his sister not to reveal his problems to you yet. He wants to do it, but he’s just not ready.”

“But when will he be?” Colleen asked worriedly. “He won’t talk to us about the things that are _really_ bothering him.”

“He’ll tell you when he’s ready, and it may not be in the most functional way,” Dr. G. explained. “Time, patience, understanding, and comfort are the greatest things you can give to Matt. I promise you. He’s getting better. Slowly, but surely.”

 

_”Guh!”_

Krogell stumbled backwards as Matt nabbed him in the gut with the edge of his staff. “Nice try,” he said with a smirk before leaping to the side, seeing Pidge appear in the corner of his eye. “Too slow,” he added as Pidge went flying past him.

Krogell lifted his four training swords—Matt had forbidden him from using his real ones—and ran forwards, yelling as he prepared to whack Matt in the head before he stopped in his tracks, Matt’s staff connecting directly with the top of his head. He fell backwards, stunned, as he groaned.

”Are you sure Krogell is one of the best in your squadron?” Pidge asked, taking a quick break as she deactivated her bayard.

”Hey, don’t underestimate me,” Krogell muttered as he lay on the ground on his back. “Hey, would you help a fellow up?” He asked, holding up one arm to which Matt grabbed and pulled at, helping the Unilu up.

”Okay, that’s enough for today,” Matt concluded.

”See? Almost no pain,” Pidge said, nudging her brother in the arm.

“Yeah, no pain _today._ But what about last time?” Matt shivered at the fury Pidge’s trainer had portrayed. “Your physical therapy coach chewed me out last time for letting you spar with me and Krogell.”

“Well, she won’t know,” Pidge said with a sly grin. “What the PT Coach doesn’t know.”

As Matt, Pidge, and Krogell headed out of the training deck, they were met by an alarmed Olkari.

”You are of the rebel forces, correct? Please, we need your help,” the Olkari said frantically, grabbing Matt’s hand and dragging him forwards.

The four ran down the halls until they reached one of the main corridors where a circle of bystanders had formed—Earthlings and other folks alike.

”Excuse me. Out of the way. Coming through!” Matt pushed through the crowd as Krogell, Pidge, and the Olkari followed. What they saw within the circle was chaos. There were three others—another Olkari, a Puigian, and a Balmeran—duking it out with a group of five Earthling guys, and the humans were winning. “Hey, _hey,_ break it up!” Matt ran up to the Puigian and human that were grappling with each other and grabbed onto the both of them, pulling them apart while Krogell latched onto the Balmeran. The Olkari grabbed onto their comrade.

”What are you guys doing!?” Krogell shouted as he restrained the Balmeran with all four arms.

”These humans have no idea what they speak of!” The brawling Olkari shouted angrily, struggling in their comrade’s grip. “They speak of us as invaders, as a plague to their kind. We are all survivors of the same war, and yet they treat us as though we are the lower species!”

”You’re not even a plague!” The boy yelled. “At least a plague would have killed us quickly. You’re the reason the Galra invaded Earth in the first place. You should’ve kept your alien wars to yourself.”

Matt stepped in between the fighters, separating the Garrison cadets from the refugees. Pidge came up on his right side.

”Well, well, well, if it isn’t the DNA nerd,” the boy said suddenly, smirking as his gaze swiveled over to the Green Lion paladin.

Pidge glared at the boy, recognizing him almost instantly. How could she forget the bully who’d mocked her in front of the entire class back in grade school? “Calem,” she said bitterly. “What are you doing beating up on refugees?”

”You’re the smarty pants,” the cadet shot back. “Shouldn’t you know the answer like you always do?”

”Hey, back off,” Matt said, speaking up. He let go of the Puigian he was restraining and walked up to the kid with the crew cut. He recognized him too. It was the bully who had called Pidge a ‘nerd’ and embarassed her in front of her class. “These people are refugees just like everyone else here. I don’t see what the problem is.”

”These _aliens_ are the reason we’re at war,” Calem shot back, glaring at Matt. “They’re not refugees. They’re invaders. They might not have attacked like the Galra, but they’re still nobodies from outer space.“

Pidge jumped in, more than ready to face her demons. “Without the Olkari, our technology would never have been strong enough to fight back against the Galra. The Puigians helped us gain valuable insight into Lotor and his generals. The Balmerans have saved us countless times. They’ve all done more for us than you could ever wrap your pea-sized brain around. And they haven’t just helped us in our fight against the Galra. All of these people, whether they were a part of the Voltron Coalition or just cheering from the sidelines, have lent us strength in some way.”

Most, if not all, of the bystanders had dispersed now—they’d only been there for the fight—but the few that remained were touched.

”You’re still the same, emotional little nerd from grade school,” Calem shot back angrily, his four-man posse standing behind him. “You think you’re a big shot now because you fly a giant robot lion and call yourself a war hero? You’re just a cheeky brat who broke into the Garrison just to find this useless _thing_ you call a brother. Space screwed you both over.”

 _”Rrahh!”_ Pidge ran forward, fury blazing in her eyes, as she activated her bayard, planning to taze Calem.

Instead, the Garrison cadet sidestepped and kneed Pidge in the gut, letting her sink to the ground before he moved to kick her the head. Instead, he felt himself flailing backwards as he realized what had happened. Her brother had raced forwards and shoved him backwards before kicking his legs out from under him.

Matt grabbed Calem’s right arm and twisted it around behind him as he slammed the cadet’s back into the floor. Calem’s group of guys moved forwards, but the refugees caught in the earlier brawl had stepped in between them. Krogell accompanied them.

”You can back off,” the Unilu threatened, crossing both sets of arms over his chest. “I think your leader needs a little chat with my friend over there.”

”Space did a lot of things to me,” Matt hissed, “but one of the better things it did was turn me into a fighter. My sister is more than just a genius war hero. She’s been fighting in an intergalactic war for longer than any of you. Her experience and her insight is what has saved countless lives. Don’t you _dare_  insult her.”

”Get off me!” Calem spat, struggling in Matt’s ironhanded grip.

“If you try to lay a hand on her again, I’ll be there. And don’t forget, I’ve been up in space for years. I’ve learned how to fight Galrans with superhuman strength and enhancements. I’ve fought monsters three times as big as myself. Imagine how a fight against me will go down.”

Calem ushed upwards, trying to get up, but Matt pushed him back down into place.

You show some respect to a Paladin of Voltron, to us war heroes, and to the refugees,” Matt warned him. “Or you’ll have more problems with me _and_ my people.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?” Griffin and the other MFE pilots had come around the corner to see a few people still watching what was really more of a one-sided wrestling match now rather than a brawl. “Get off of him.”

Matt glared at Calem before he finally released the cadet, standing up and allowing him to rise to his feet at Griffin’s orders.

After he was released, Calem got to his feet and clutched his right shoulder. “Which ones are your people?” He asked furiously. “Humans, or the aliens?”

”My people are my family, and the ones who deserve my help,” Matt responded coldly. “You’re not one of them.”

”Come on, let’s go,” Calem said abruptly, ordering his guys to follow him as he headed down the hallway.

Krogell had already helped Pidge to her feet, and was letting the refugees know that if they had any other problems, to come to him and his squadron. The Olkari, Puigian, and Balmeran left to resume their earlier work. The MFE pilots came over after the exchanges were made.

“What was that all about?” Griffin asked, crossing his arms as the refugees dispersed.

”It seems as though the rebels, as one would put it, ‘wiped the floor’ with some cadets,” Leifsdottir responded monotonously, as though giving a report.

”Leif, I think Griffin was asking the rebels,” Rizavi whispered.

”Those cadets were assaulting refugees,” Matt said rather harshly. “I just did what no one else would do.”

”You mean dislocate the kid’s shoulder?” Griffin asked.

”Are you kidding?” Rizavi asked, letting out an excited laugh. “He probably broke it!”

Kinkade elbowed Rizavi in the side, and an audible “ _oof”_  was heard.

”Rizavi,” Griffin scolded before turning back to Matt. “Calem Hayes has been a problem since the invasion was over,” he explained. “He’s very against the new policy of allowing refugees from the outer star systems to stay on Earth, but he never got physical until now.”

”He seems like a real nice guy,” Krogell said quite sarcastically. “And you guys didn’t bother to do anything until things got out of hand?”

”It’s not like we could silence him,” Rizavi said. “Freedom of speech, you know? So long as he wasn’t hurting anyone, we couldn’t just tell him to stop muttering insults under his breath whenever he passed by someone that wasn’t human.”

As Krogell continued to bicker with the MFE pilots, Matt was finally able to come over to Pidge who was still rubbing her stomach where Calem has kneed her. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked her.

”Am I okay?” Pidge asked. “What about you?”

Matt shrugged. “They’re just words. I’ve been called worse.”

Pidge gave Matt a sad smile. “Yeah, I know you have.”

”Hey,” Matt said suddenly, nudging his sister in the arm. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s still just the same old bully from middle school. You’ve changed, though. You’ve risen above him.”

Pidge shrugged. “I guess so,” she muttered, her gaze glancing down the hallway.

“Matthew and Katie Holt, please report to the briefing room.”

”Great.”

 

When Matt and Pidge entered the conference room, Iverson, Shiro, and Olia sat across from them at the end of the table where Calem sat as well with a smug look on his face and his arm in a sling. Krogell followed the Holt siblings in, but one look from Olia told him that any words from him wouldn’t be helpful.

”Do you know why you were called here?” the Captain asked.

”I assume it has something to do with him assaulting refugees and my sister,” Matt said with an unamused look.

“He just defended them,” Krogell added. “That’s all.”

”Clearly, we have two very different stories here,” Shiro said, quieting the two. “Which is why we’ve called you all down here. Something tells me that the camera footage will tell us the real story.”

The entire room could see Calem tense as Matt, Pidge, and Krogell begrudgingly sat down in their seats while Shiro set up the camera feed. What was replayed was the truth. It showed Calem and his group passing by the same two Olkari from earlier as well as the Balmeran and Puigian. There was no sound, but the video was enough. It was moments later that the boy on Calem’s right took a swing at the first Olkari, prompting the fristfight that ensued. The second Olkari could be seen escaping the chaos and running off screen. A few minutes later, Matt, Pidge, Krogell, and that same Olkari appeared. The rest was history.

”Hayes, I will be speaking to you in private once this matter is finished,” Iverson growled.

Calem could only scowl as he stood up and practically stomped out of the room like a child after being dismissed. As he passed, he could hear Pidge mutter under her breath, “Dumb enough to attack and dumb enough to forget the cameras.”

”I apologize for the trouble,” Iverson said once Calem had left the room. “I hadn’t realized how negative some people are about the refugees.”

“That still doesn’t warrant an excuse to nearly break his arm,” Olia scolded.

Iverson cleared his throat nervously. “Ahem, no of course it doesn’t,” he responded. “But it’s not like we can confine them to the Garrison HQ.”

”That didn’t stop Mom from grounding me,” Pidge muttered.

“Is Calem Hayes the only one who’s against the refugees?” Shiro asked, trying to direct everyone’s attention away from the bickering and more towards the matter at hand.

”I haven’t received any other complaints,” Iverson responded.

”Look, we know you were doing good by helping those refugees,” Shiro said to the three, “but the way you did it will only make things worse. You’re not being punished or anything, just—“

”Scolded like children,” Matt said, cutting him off.

”Being warned,” Shiro continued, looking at Matt.

”Now that you two have been warned, we don’t expect there to be any more problems.”

”And if he starts something?” Krogell asked.

”You two know restraining techniques,” Olia said. “I expect you to use them.”

 

”If that science brat thinks she can sic her space brother on me, she’s got another thing coming,” Calem muttered, shuffling angrily down the hallway with his four friends following closely behind. “I’m going to get back at them for this. I can’t believe Iverson suspended me from the flight simulation for a month. At the rate these aliens are coming to Earth, I won’t live to see the end of this stupid punishment.”

”What do we do?” One of the guys asked him. “That brother of hers—Matt—he’s been a war rebel for years. He’s fought the Galra. We’ve just fought nerds.”

”I bet you he’s been fighting aliens so long, he’s forgotten how to fight in a normal  _human_ brawl. If we challenged him, we could take him.”

”You saw what he did to Calem. He’d kick our—“

”I know what we’re doing,” Calem snapped, spinning around to face his four-man team. “When the paladins returned to Earth, every alien had to be processed and made sure that everyone was either a refugee or a part of the Voltron Coalition. That means that there’s information stored somewhere on everyone. We just have to find it.”

 

“You’re going to take the kids to the Atlas tomorrow.” Olia had kept Matt behind in the briefing room and was doling out her ‘punishment.’ “They’ve wanted to see the inside of the Atlas for a while now, and since you know them well, you’re the right one for the job.”

”Right, and this has nothing to do with you confining me to headquarters,” Matt said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t mind showing your kids around, but are you seriously using them as my form of punishment?”

”It’s not a punishment,” Olia said. “It’s a lesson. And a way to blow off steam. Look, when I was your age, I would’ve done the same thing you did. But you you can’t afford to get into brawls anymore.”

”I wasn’t trying to get into one,” Matt countered. “If your brother had been disrespected the way Pidge—“

”Don’t bring him into this,” Olia snapped suddenly. She breathed out and quelled her temper before responding. “Like I said before, I would have done the same thing. But things are different now. Your sister can take care of herself without you getting in trouble for it.”

Matt was silent for a moment before he nodded. “Okay.” A pause. “Sorry for bringing him into this.”

”It’s alright.”

When the two came out of the briefing room, Pidge and Krogell were sitting outside of the room on the floor.

”You off the hook?” Krogell asked hopefully.

”He’s taking my kids around the Atlas tomorrow, so no, he is not ‘off the hook,’” Olia said, looking down at Krogell with a frown.

As the Unilu pouted, Pidge stood up. “I’m sorry I got you in trouble,” she said.

”He’s not in trouble,” Olia reassured him before a smirk crept onto her face. “He’s just going to be rather preoccupied with my kids tomorrow. You understand, right?”

”Of course, Captain,” Pidge responded. “I‘ve got some work to do with the Olkari,” she said, turning to Matt. “I’ll meet you back home?”

”See you there,” Matt said with a wave as Pidge left the briefing room, leaving the three rebels alone.

”Krogell, you’ll be helping the Olkari tomorrow in the Atlas,” Olia told the Unilu. “I’m lending your ’extra hands’ for this new sparring system they want to set up.”

”Copy,” Krogell said with a childish salute.

”Now get out of here before that kid comes back swearing revenge or some ruggle.”

As the two nodded and left, Olia leaned back against the table, moving a chair out of the way as she did so. Letting lose an exasperated sigh, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small cube. It floated in the palm of her hand and mimicked the floating cubes the Olkari used, except it wasn’t a mimicry cube. There was a small tag on it that read, “For Matt.” Olia’s gaze lingered for a moment before she slipped it back into her pocket. Now wasn’t the right time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also gave the bully who calls Pidge a nerd a bigger role for this story. But he’s still a jerk :P


	5. Update 3/13/19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update on the story.

Hello everyone. I’m sure you can tell this story isn’t getting anywhere near as finished as I’d planned on it being. As of right now, I’m putting this story on a hiatus until the summer to work things out. I’m going off to college and as much as I love writing, I’ve hit a roadblock with the recent chapter and I’ve got to prioritize. Scholarships don’t come from nothing, am I right?

I actually _do_ want eventually finish this story, someday. Might be months before another chapter is even up. But one day, I will actually finish this.

So thank you to those who supported this story, who gave me wonderful comments and feedback. Sincerely, your comments and kudos really mean the world to me and keep me wanting to finish this.

I will write for this story once again. Until then.


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